We have dated now for five months. We worked with each other 15 years ago and recently re-found one another. I am 15 years younger then he is and in great shape. He has only orgasmed twice inside me. At first, I was wondering if it was me? He said absolutely not me. He said this happened to him long ago with a women he had dated after he was divorced. He said she too had to finish him orally. Then as time went on, he no longer had that issue while with her. He explained it is now happening again here and with me. He is overweight now, and not as active. I don’t care about his body being an issue. But, he does. He thinks… Its a mental thing but can’t explain really why?? When, we talk about it he reassures me that I give the best of the best and it feels like no other. The urge comes and then he says it goes away weather its oral, or intercourse. Although, orally, I have a lesser issue relieving him. He takes NO medicine for anything. Ugh…please help. He also has said that he really wants this to work out Our relationship is amazing. We communicate very well, laugh, lots of respect… His kids like me so…please help. He always says babe you feel so good..and I really want to. I feel the urge and then the O goes away. He’s frustrated too.
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Trouble with ejaculation/orgasm is men’s secret sex problem. It gets a lot less press than erection issues and premature ejaculation, but it’s surprisingly common. And it becomes more common with age. Fortunately, it can almost always be cured.
First I suggest that you and he read my low-cost article on ejaculation/orgasm problems, which distills the approach sex therapists use into a self-help program.
If the article doesn’t resolve things sufficiently, a few months of weekly sex therapy usually does. Sex therapy usually costs $150-200/hour though many therapists discount fees for those who can’t afford standard rates. If you’re unfamiliar with sex therapy, clients DON’T have sex with therapists and therapists DON’T watch clients having sex. For more, read my low-cost article, An Intimate Look at Sex Therapy, or see the film, “Hope Springs” with Meryl Streep and Tommy Lee Jones. To find a sex therapist near you, visit the American Association of Sex Educators, Counselors, and Therapists, the Society for Sex Therapy and Research, or the American Board of Sexology.
If you both work on this issue, things are almost certain to improve. Good luck!