My first husband wanted anal sex, so we tried it, and it hurt so much I said never again. That was 20 years ago. Now I’m widowed and in a new relationship and my new man is asking about anal. I told him what happened last time, how I tried it and swore off it. He’s 61 and says he can’t get hard enough for anal intercourse and just wants to finger me. I want to please him, but I’m phobic about any anal. Help!

I’ve heard that vibrators, if you use them a long time, can make my clitoris less sensitive. Any truth to this?

I am 46. My erect penis is not as hard as it used to be in my 20s / 30s. Many  times I am not able to maintain erection and my penis becomes limp during foreplay. Although I am able to get it back so as to penetrate. After penetration I do not have any problem. Is this normal for my age ?

Over the last dozen years or so, my wife of 22 years has slowly withdrawn from sex. We used to do it twice a week. Now we’re down to once every few months. I can’t stand it. I’ve tried everything, but she just doesn’t seem interested. I considered leaving her, but we have a family, and except for the way sex has poisoned our relationship, we have a good marriage. I had a six-month affair with a woman who loves sex, but broke it off because I love my wife and want to work things out with her. I heard about sex therapy and suggested that we go, but my wife refused. I feel really stuck and ready to tear out what’s left of my hair. Help!

I’ve always been bisexual. I had both straight and lesbian relationships in college. Then I met my husband and stopped having sex with women. The marriage lasted 17 years. After my divorce, I dated both men and women, then a couple years ago fell madly in love with a woman. We’ve been living together for four years. It’s a great relationship, but the sex is no better than what I had with my husband. I always thought that when it’s two people of the same gender, they should know what the other wants and feels, and sex should be better than it is with someone of the other sex. But that’s not my experience. Is something wrong with my lesbian relationship?

I hope you don’t mind a 24 year old asking a question. It’s about my penis. It’s too small. On the Internet I’ve see ads for dozens of enlargement products, but they’re all pretty expensive. Which one works best?

I’m a 53-year-old woman going through the Big Change. I’ve started to notice dryness down there. I’m using KY Jelly, but it reminds me of going to the gynecologist. Not very sexy. What can I do?

Before my hysterectomy, my doctor and friends who’d had the operation assured me that it causes no loss of sexual enjoyment. Well, I had surgery 8 months ago, and ever since, I’ve had problems. I still enjoy sex, just not as much as before. My husband’s touch doesn’t feel as…well, sexy as it used to. And I have trouble with orgasm. His tongue used to get me off every time. Now I need a vibrator. (Thank God for my Magic Wand!) I know my friends are being truthful when they say their hysterectomies caused no loss of sensation. So what’s wrong with me?

In my twenties, I had premature ejaculation. I came right away. Very embarrassing. I calmed down in my thrities and lasted longer, not as long as I wanted, no “all night long,” but enough so that my wife and I felt okay about it. So now I’m 44, single again, and dating this great gal, and wham, it’s happening all over again. It doesn’t matter how she does me: handjob, blowjob, or intercourse, I come in a few strokes. HELP!

I’m 49. My husband is 56. I’ve initiated most of our sex, and that’s been frustrating because I rarely feel desired (though he tells me he wants me). Well, these past six months or so, he’s turned me down a lot more–and it’s driving me crazy. If he wants me as he says he does, why won’t he do anything about it? All I want is sex once a week or so. Is that too much to ask? I should mention that he’s healthy. It’s getting to the point where I’m resenting him and when we have sex, I just don’t enjoy it very much. How can I when in subtle and not-so-subtle ways he lets me know that he’s just doing it to shut me up. I thought men were into sex. Not my husband. Help!