What should I do with a man who doesn’t want to be touched? I am 35 and in a very good relationship with a older man going on 58. He has weight issues. He currently doesn’t like himself very much, so he can’t get it up. I understand that, but I would still like to touch him to show I am still very attracted to him! But he has asked me not to touch him sexually. I desperately want to touch him. I love him and I want to touch him in intimate places even if it is just a little squeeze every now and then. Should I go ahead and touch him? Or do as he has asked and let him try and lose some pounds…?

I have a dumb question ( I think). Of course we know the main function of semen is to carry sperm. My question is what other purpose or function does it have when sperm is not present such as in vasectomy or sterility. Is it for visual effects? Does greater volume mean a more intense orgasm?

A few years ago, my wife agreed that if I paid off her credit cards, she would be willing to receive a sensual massage with a happy ending from a stranger while I watched. After I paid off her debt, she backed out. I felt resentment and she may have as well because at that point she agreed to erotic chat with me and another man which she did briefly and then simply said she didn’t want to do it anymore. Now she wants me to pay off her Lasik surgery and I feel like telling her I won’t pay it off unless she makes good on the original deal we made to be massaged sensually while I watch or to continue the erotic chat. Am I out of line to feel this way and to suggest that she do this or I won’t pay?

I’m curious of how you became a sex therapist and what do you do educationally to be credentialed?  I’m an RN and with great libido and still not in menopause yet! As I’ve matured in years I’m not as shy and want to know more. I feel like a I’m in my prime. As a RN I wonder about the how I could maybe get a degree in sexuality with my RN to maybe counsel? I know my friends have always come to me with issues and questions, I laugh that they think I’m the sex counselor!! He he. Looking forward to hearing from you.

I have not been sexually active for the past eight years, except a little masturbation now and then. I have great urges at times. Would masturbation be harmful to my BPH (Benign prostatic hyperplasia)?

I am a man  taking 25 mgs of trazadone prescribed by my doctor to help me sleep. It works great! However, it’s causing me bad sexual side effects: loss of erections and loss of ability to have orgasms. I have been on the drug for a month now. Someone suggested that instead of changing my anti-depressant, I should possibly add a 75mg of wellburin two hours before sex. This would only be occasionally. What you do recommend?

I’m 42 and still a virgin and almost fully convinced there is NO possibility of it ever happening. I’m not really a bad looking guy but feel invisible to opposite sex. I would love to meet some nice but very introverted woman. Any suggestions? I seriously think there is something wrong me (not joking). This is really starting to affect me.

Recently, my husband and I have rekindled our sex life after not having sex for several years because of his alcohol addiction. He’s been sober now for about 9 months, so wonderful! (I was going to separate). However, I have caught him looking at porn several times even though he knows I am feeling very sexual, in fact, more than I ever have in my life and I even told him it was crazy but I was always horny and into having sex/making love most of the time, more than he is. Note: he is experiencing penile dysfunction and recently quit smoking to heal that. I am enjoy oral sex and casual hand jobs if he’s busy. I should add that I am very attractive with a trim, firm body and a very pretty face. I get comments all the time from people about my physical appearance and people are always shocked at my age. I told him I want to do whatever will turn him on and we discussed wearing short skirts and tight see-through tops so we could have fun when I bend over and look sexy for him walking around the house. So we shopped together for these things and I certainly felt very sexy in them. Soon after to my horror, I again found that he had been on a porn site looking at upskirts with no panties even when I was doing that very thing. He lied at first as he usually does. Finally he admitted it. He always says it’s nothing like the real thing with me and also that he’s not used to my being sexual, something he’s getting used to. After so many years without sex you’d think he’d be all over me! By the way, after several times finding him looking at porn he says he realizes now the extent of how it affects me which is very serious. I told him I can’t approve of his looking at porn for so many reasons and he is saying he has hardly any interest anymore and says it is easier to quit porn then it was to quit alcohol and just as easy as it was to quit cigarettes and that it’s gotten boring. Of course there’s a trust issue, that’s hard for me to believe. He’s really a kind, good man and I do know he loves me very much. However, the problem now is that I can’t seem to get myself to wear the sexy outfits for him knowing that he was and might still be looking at other women in the same way. I want to have sex with him but I am turned off because of this problem. I feel silly and humiliated like I am competing. How can I be uninhibited and sexual with him again and should I never wear those short skirts again? Would I be degrading myself to wear them? Am I second best?

I am a 56-year-old woman involved for 2 years with a 74-year-old man. He
has tried pills, hormone therapy and even I ejections. He is a wonderful
lover who brings me to orgasm every time with his hands (sometimes taking
over an hour). Once or twice a month I can bring him to orgasm through
fellatio. He no longer gets rigid enough for penetration (which I would
love but I have much better orgasms through clitoral stimulation). He has
been considering going into surgery to get a penis pump and I worry about
something terrible going wrong during the operation.

I have come to believe that as we age sex goes from being physical to being
more emotional. It’s easy to lose the warm, animalistic fury we once had when
you consider the time and energy you have to put into it fighting off all the
frustrating problems that usually appear. The bottom line being you can have
that sexual fulfilling relationship as long as you both put forth the effort
and have the desire, drive and mind to do so. What was once physical and blew
our minds becomes mindful so we can blow away our bodies! It is definitely
not for unmotivated and lazy people. We plan our love-making. Using the
countdown as a type of foreplay, readying our minds and imaginations together
with the love and devotion we share with each other to still have a amazing,
mind-blowing sex life.

We still keep up-to-date about anything that my enhance our relationship. I have
enjoyed many of your writings in the past. You also encourage feed-back.
Thank you for your insight and the work you do.

Around a year ago, I finally got into bed with my long-term crush. I was very nervous since I’ve been dreaming about this night for years. So nervous, that I had an erection problem. Never had one before in my life. So we didn’t end up having sex and not long after we broke up (tho the reason was notmy fuck up in bed). Since that night, I’ve been very anxious about having sex with anybody. I’m extremely worried about experiencing erectile problems again and embarrassing myself. I’d really would like to try but I’m very anxious… any advice on overcoming this fear?