Free Q&A Archive

Can a man perform sexually and reach orgasm if he is not sexually attracted to his partner?

I see you’re another sex expert who dismisses the reality of penis enlargement. Frankly, I don’t care whether you believe me or not, but I have been using a compression hanger (it’s called a BIB) to hang weights on my flaccid penis on & off for many years. My flaccid length when I first measured it, which was several years after I started was 3 1/2″. It is now 5 3/8″ My erect length which has been measured the same way started at 5 1/2″ and is now 7 1/8″. While hanging is not specifically intended to increase girth, my starting girth was 5 1/4″ and is now 5 15/16″ If I had been consistent, I know my results would have even been better ,but something, like a couple of moves or a death in the family, can happen and when you stop for a while, you can’t just go back to the amount of time you were hanging or to the weight. You have to slowly work back up and it’s only until I’m hanging ~17 +lbs in 20 minute sessions that add up to at least 10 hrs/week that I make any gains. I’m now in my 70s, am intimate with my gal several times/week and although there’s not multiple orgasms in a session anymore and my ejaculate volume is way down, my erect cock is hard as a rock and our lovemaking is wonderful. Now of course I eat clean, lift weights and indulge in numerous types of CV activities, none the less, this works.
Take care
M

Can I, an 80-year-old man, enjoy tantric masturbation even when flaccid? My usual penile posture!

Hi, I recently read your article “the real problem with porn, it’s bad for sex” and I was actually relieved that someone from the psychology world is addressing some of the problems with porn; thank you for this thorough and very helpful information. My question is this, what would it look like to address women’s pain and suffering as the real problem? Is our pain not valid in itself? Are men not capable of seeing women’s suffering for what it really is? Is the porn industry above reprimand for apparently helping lower sex crime? I see porn as a problem because it is degrading to relationships. It has hijacked men’s brains and poisoned and debilitated them. It has objectified and degraded women. It has caused undue stress in my daily life and I have found very little validation to fuel my fight. How does it look to validate and address this pain as the real problem? I hope to gain some perspective from your professional insights. Thank you!

Is Trimix gel safe and effective ?

Hi, I’m contacting you because I’m confused about my libido. I didn’t lose my virginity until I was 18, I stopped having sex when I reached 19. My libido went down, and had no interest in sex at all. I never used to think about it, or want to do it. I’m 27 soon, and I’m not sure why but since I’ve reached my late 20s, I can’t stop thinking about sex!! Nearly everyday, to the point I’m willing to meet men for one night stands. Why could this be please? And thank you!

For years I took ED meds – Viagra, Cialis, and Levitra – with excellent results. Lately, they don’t work at all. Is this phenomenon typical, inevitable? If the answer is that the body adjusts itself out of the range of efficacy, does this adjustment also happen with medications taken for other purposes? I’m 63, and I’m curious in a scientific way. What can I do?

My husband and I have been married 5.5 years, and I’m confused. Our sexual frequency has always been a problem. I’ve always been the one to demand sex. Beginning last year, I just stopped doing this. In the meantime, coincidently my husband was dumped by his very best friends. We spent a very hard time with no sex at all. I got mad, and had many questions about his sexual appetite. Last summer on vacation, I observed him look at both men and women. One dinner he was drunk and did oral sex to his cigar… anyway… at the end he confessed his masturbation habit and that he loves to play with his anus. This year he went to hypnotherapist and quit his porn habit. Since January he has been very shy and depressed. What shall I do?

I’m unmarried and in my religion, it is not allowed to masturbate. But sometimes I feel a great sex drive, and want release. Nocturnal emissions are allowed. Is there a specific sleep position that stimulates nocturnal emissions? Or can I wear something on my penis to do this?

So I’ve been trying to get my wife to open up more about sexual experimentation. Then I had a good friend over at our house for a few drinks. We were drinking in the kitchen with the wife, who got pretty drunk. After a while I had to use the restroom. I heard my friend yell, “What the fuck?!” I peek back in and she is pulling at his belt trying to get to his junk. I said nothing. Here she was being experimental, and I was OK with it. As I return, I come around the corner and she’s still in front of him but kneeling and he had his head back and eyes closed. I see her giving him head. That was our first threesome and it lasted quite a while. The next morning, hung over, she claimed she didn’t remember anything and didn’t want to talk about it because if what I said happened really happened, she regretted everything. Meanwhile, I’m convinced part of her loved it. My question: Why should I believe she doesn’t remember anything?