My girlfriend orgasms easily enough but can’t get aroused after her orgasm for further sex. She’s frustrated that she can’t get turned on again. Is there anything we can do? It’s bothering her.
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Please tell your gf she’s NORMAL. After orgasm both men and women enter what sexologists call “the refractory period” (RP), a time when genital arousal subsides and the vast majority of people can’t get turned on again for a while. After a big meal, you don’t have much appetite for more food for a few hours. The same is usually true for sex.
RP is usually age-related—brief in young people and lengthening with age. Now, a small proportion of women don’t seem to have appreciable RPs. They remain aroused after orgasm and can get it on again quickly (multiple orgasm). But they are a small minority. The vast majority of folks are like your girlfriend (and presumably you). They need to wait awhile before they can get aroused again. This is NORMAL.
In addition, fretting about this may extend RP. Anxiety and worry trigger the release of hormones that constrict the arteries, which limits blood flow through them. This includes the arteries that supply blood to the genitals. Less blood means less genital arousal. Consequently, the best way to minimize RP is to stop worrying about it. If your gf accepts her RP with grace and good humor, it’s likely to take her less time to get turned on again.
I wish you great sex.