Young man is sitting in bed and watching pornography on laptop

I am totally obsessed with porn watching. What would I have to do to reduce this ?

Responses

  • Michael Castleman says:

    You say you’re “totally obsessed.” What exactly does that mean? How often do you indulge? For how long at a sitting?

    The vast majority of men with Internet connections—and many women—watch porn. The world’s largest porn sites log more than 60 billion visits a year. That’s more than 10 a year for every person on Earth. So simply watching is normal and not necessarily any indication of obsession or compulsivity.

    How long do you watch? Most visits last 5 to 10 minutes, just long enough for the viewer to masturbate to orgasm. That’s the purpose of porn——a visual aid for self-sexing. After viewers come, they click away. Do you click away after orgasm? Or stay for hours on end? If you come and then click away, you’re normal. If you stay for hours at a time, that may be a problem. Here’s the test: Does your porn watching interfere with school, work, family obligations, time with friends, or partner sex with your lover? If not and you indulge during free time you might otherwise spend watching TV, pursuing hobbies, or engaged in other discretionary activities, that’s probably not a problem. But if your porn use is interfering with your life, then I urge you to consult a sex therapist for counseling.

    If you’re unfamiliar with sex therapy, the therapist does NOT have sex with you and does NOT watch you have sex. Sex therapy is a form of talk-based psychotherapy with “homework.” It usually takes four to six months of weekly one-hour sessions. It costs $200-400/hour, though many therapists discount fees for those who can’t afford standard rates. And I don’t think you’d need many visits to get clarity about your habit. For more, read my low-cost article, An Intimate Look at Sex Therapy, and/or see the film, “Hope Springs” with Meryl Streep and Tommy Lee Jones. To find a sex therapist near you, visit the American Association of Sex Educators, Counselors, and Therapists, the Society for Sex Therapy and Research, or the American Board of Sexology.

    Chances are you’re not “totally obsessed” with porn. True compulsivity is rare. But it wouldn’t hurt to talk with a professional so you can clarify its role in your life and make any changes necessary so you don’t feel out of control.

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