I am 14 years old. I accidentally discovered when I was three that playing with my vulva feels good. But my mom saw me playing with it once when I was four and she seemed horrified at what I was doing and told me it was bad and that I needed to stop.
When I was six, she caught me again. To get me to stop, she started checking to see where my hands were several times throughout the night, If she couldn’t see them from the outside of my blanket, she would peek underneath my blanket to see what they were doing.
One of my twin sisters who are two years younger than me, also got caught a few times masturbating after she turned five, leading to the same type of motherly checkups after bed time.
When I was eleven, and my 2 sisters nine, our parents one evening talked to the three of us. They asked if we knew what masturbation was. None of us were familiar with the term. They told us that it’s a secret habit that a lot of people start doing at our age. And that most people who start doing this secret habit usually do it in their bedroom, or in the bathroom.
Yikes, I started to feel uncomfortable, was my secret playing with my vulva this masturbation thing they were talking about?
Then they said we shouldn’t do it. The rationale they gave was that this secret habit will cause you to become a slave to it.
So the message was if we have never masturbated, don’t start, and that if we do and have already began masturbating but were just too shy to admit that during this meeting, stop, and stop quickly before a bad habit starts.
I quickly dismissed and forgot all about what was said at that meeting. I figured, how can something that is just done in secret every once in a while that feels so good be this bad? Even if it becomes an addiction, I figured it isn’t like a street drug or something. I didn’t think so anyway.
But now one of my twelve year old sisters told me in secret today that she masturbates 2 to 3 times a day and that she is worried that she is now a slave to it, like what our parents talked about a few years ago. And me, for the last couple of years, I do it at least 3 times a day also, many times I have done it five or six times a day also. I didn’t want to tell that to my sister though. But now she is definately worried that she has become a slave to masturbation, and while I am not as worried as she is, I am definitely wondering if that is what we are both becoming.
And I was wondering if there is any way to stop. I have tried many times to quit. When I was younger than ten, I could quit for up to a week. But now when I try to quit, I can’t go longer than 36 hours, and it’s also uncomfortable to even try.