Menopause and Women’s Sexuality: New Perspectives from the Best Study to Date

I am a 72-year old male. I have had erectile dysfunction for the last 2 or 3 years, without having an orgasm. I can no longer achieve an erection of any kind, no matter what I do.

Is there any way of having an orgasm for me? If so, how would I achieve this?


  • Michael Castleman says:

    At 72, having had ED for only a few years puts you ahead of most men, who typically develop erection difficulties earlier in life. Of course, that’s cold comfort to you now.

    A few suggestions:
    • You used the word “achieve” twice. Perhaps it’s just a figure of speech, but it implies great effort. You can’t will or force an erection. One key to raising them is to stop trying to “achieve.” Erections rise when men are patient, feel deeply RELAXED, and get the stimulation they enjoy. To relax before sex, take a hot shower.
    • Even if you can’t have erections, you can still have orgasms. Different nerves control the two. Plenty of men who lost their erections to paraplegia and prostate cancer can still come–IF they got lots of the kind of stimulation that turns them on, either solo or with a partner. I suggest you practice this during masturbation.
    • Have you tried erection medication? A high dose might help.
    • Do you mix alcohol and sex? If so, try not drinking for a couple hours before sex. Alcohol is a major erection-killer.
    • For more on all this, you might consider my low-cost e-book, Enjoy the Best Sex of Your Life. It’s 135 chapters include several on erection issues, sex and aging, and orgasm/ejaculation difficulties. The e-book carries a money-back guarantee through PayPal so it’s risk-free.
    • If the e-book doesn’t provide sufficient relief, then I’d suggest sex therapy. If you’re unfamiliar with sex therapy, the therapist does NOT have sex with you and does NOT watch you have sex. Sex therapy is a form of talk-based psychotherapy with “homework.” It usually takes four to six months of weekly one-hour sessions. It costs $150-200/hour, though many therapists discount fees for those who can’t afford standard rates. For more, read my low-cost article, An Intimate Look at Sex Therapy (included in the the e-book), and/or see the film, “Hope Springs” with Meryl Streep and Tommy Lee Jones. To find a sex therapist near you, visit the American Association of Sex Educators, Counselors, and Therapists, the Society for Sex Therapy and Research, or the American Board of Sexology.
    • You might also consider consulting a sexual medicine specialist. Find one through the North America Society for Sexual Medicine.

    I wish you great sex.

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