He is new to sexual intercourse, only having lost his virginity two weeks ago. We’ve had sex 3 times, and never has it felt good for him. We’ve tried foreplay beforehand, but nothing works.
I think it’s because he pressures himself too much to have his orgasm, and it distracts him from any pleasure. Instead of enjoying the moment he’s thinking ” I HAVE to orgasm, I HAVE to orgasm, I HAVE to orgasm.”

We were looking up this problem before and one website suggested that it might not feel good because “he has gotten use to pleasure from his hand, he’s not used to pleasure from sex.” But I don’t think that’s the case. I want to be able to have a pleasurable, healthy sex life with him, but I have no idea how I can have that with the way things are going..


  • Michael Castleman says:

    It’s a big transition going from solo sex to intercourse with a lover. All sorts of obstacles can crop up—and you guys have encountered a few. But the prognosis is excellent. With some information, time, and practice, chances are all will be well and sex will be mutually pleasurable.

    Masturbation and partner sex are both “sex,” but the two are very different. In masturbation, you have only yourself to please and you can make little adjustments easily. With a lover, you have to deal with that person’s needs and meld them with your own pleasure. That takes time and practice and some adjustments.

    His fixation on orgasm seems to be generating a lot of stress, enough to interfere with his pleasure and frustrate you. Orgasm can feel fantastic, but it’s not the only goal of lovemaking. The real goal is mutual pleasure … and when you have that, orgasm usually follows without much difficulty.

    I suggest you obtain a copy of my low-cost e-book, Enjoy the Best Sex of Your Life. It contains 135 easy-to-understand chapters that deal with all aspects of heterosexuality—check out the table of contents and you’ll see the list. You can purchase chapters separately, but the whole e-book sells for a small fraction of the price of the all the single chapters, and since your bf is new to partner lovemaking, I bet he’d benefit from perusing the whole e-book. It should provide him with an overview, reduce his anxiety about coming, and introduce him to the joys of whole-body sensual pleasure, both his and yours. My e-book carries a money-back guarantee, so it’s risk-free.

    Please share my reply with him. I wish you both great sex!

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