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What exactly is virginity? Has any test been developed to show if someone is or isn’t? What about the hymen? How does it connect to virginity?


  • Michael Castleman says:

    On this site, many people, usually teens, have voiced confusion about what “virginity” actually is, and ask: Am I still a virgin if my boyfriend fingered me … or my girlfriend gave me a hand job (or blowjob).

    Conventionally, virgins are those who have not had penis-vagina intercourse (PVI). Losing virginity may be a rite of passage, but the term is virtually meaningless. Some young people who commit to virginity until marriage have no problem with hand jobs, oral, and even anal play while insisting that no PVI means they’re still “technically” virgins. Some who embrace PVI as the standard still find wiggle room based on orgasm/ejaculation. I didn’t come. And depth of insertion. It only went in an inch. Finally, if PVI is the benchmark, those exclusively lesbians or gay would be lifelong virgins, even if they enjoyed same-gender lovemaking daily.
    Consequently, there is no absolute definition of virginity, though most people use the PVI standard.

    There is absolutely no test for virginity. For men, no one can tell if penises have entered erotic openings. For women, there’s a pervasive myth that first PVI tears or destroys the hymen, the thin membrane that partially covers most infant girls’ vaginal openings. However, most hymens largely or totally wear away by girls’ adolescence, so either nothing is left to tear or only little skin flaps (tags) remain and first intercourse has no effect on them. For more on this, read my low-cost e-article, The Hymen: A Membrane Misunderstood. It carries a money-back guarantee through PayPal, so it’s risk-free.

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