Hi, I hope this question is not lame. During sexual intercourse, I take something like 30 to 45 minutes to cum (releasing semen). After I cum, I lose all interest in going for another round. I just feel too tired. I don’t know a better way of asking my question but here’s what I want to know: Is this normal? Is it normal for a young man like myself to go only  one round of about 30-45mi, and then feel unable to go another?


  • Michael Castleman says:

    You’re normal. Some young men can go for a second round shortly after the first. But others, like you, can neither raise second erections quickly nor ejaculate/come for a while, often several hours.

    After orgasm/ejaculation, the body enters what sexologists call “the refractory period,” a length of time when the body rests between sexual episodes. The refractory period increases with age. Young men who can go a second round shortly after the first typically lose this ability as they get older. Among elderly men, the refractory period may last many hours, even a day.

    But in a substantial proportion of young men—you and many others—there is no instant second round. The refractory period already takes a while—an hour or longer. This is normal. Refractory periods are individual. Some young men have short ones, others longer. I urge you not to stress about this. There’s nothing wrong with taking awhile to go again.

    You also say it takes you 30 to 45 minutes to get to orgasm/ejaculation. If you’re comfortable with this, fine, enjoy yourself, many men would love to last that long and can’t. But if you’d like to be able to come more quickly, chances are that you can with the help of my low-cost e-article: Orgasm/Ejaculation Difficulties: Can’t Get There? Help for This Common Problem. All my resources carry a money-back guarantee, so they’re risk-free.

    Bottom line: You’re normal. It’s normal to have a significant refractory period.

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