Erotic Piercing: Be Very Careful

I am 6 months into my relationship and we both have fallen in love. We are both 33 years old and he tells me I’m beautiful and sexy almost daily. We have sex maybe once a week. I have never felt this way about anyone before so it could be that I’m in love, but I want to have sex with him every day. He turns me on so much. I’ve never come until I got with him, and he makes me wetter than an ocean. I don’t like talking to him about it because I feel like he’s lying to me and deep down isn’t attracted to me and thats why we dont have sex as much as most new couples. Am I being silly, cause every night I get mad and then sad when I try to touch him or make a move for him to touch me and nothing happens.


  • Michael Castleman says:

    I feel for you. Alas, you have a textbook case of desire difference. I doubt he’s lying to you.I’m guessing he genuinely love you and feels as deeply for you as you do for him. Different people have differing natural amounts of desire for sex. You are who you are, and that’s fine. But he is who he is, also fine. If the two of you are going to make it long-term, this is an issue that must be discussed. The good news is that sex therapists have developed a program that allows the large majority of couples to accommodate to each other’s desires in reasonable harmony.

    When people first fall in love, they can’t keep their hands off each other. But the hot-and-heavy period lasts only 6 months to 2 years or so, then sexual frequency declines. You say you’ve been together 6 months. So it looks like his hot-and-heavy period is over, but yours isn’t.

    If both lovers’ libidos subside identically, there’s no problem. But typically, one’s libido declines more than the other’s, producing a desire difference, and quite often conflict. “You’re insatiable!” “You never want to!”

    The one who wants more sex feels powerless—unloved, unattractive, undesired, and always begging and groveling for sex. Tonight? Tonight? The one who wants less sex also feels powerless—harassed by constant sexual demands. In sex therapy for desire differences, therapists ask, “Who controls the sex in your relationship?” Each lover points to the other—and feels astonished that their partner thinks they wield the power when they themselves feel they have none.

    When desire differences go on for a while, they become two problems: the difference itself, and the resentments that develop around it. In addition, non-sexual affection (friendly hugs and kisses) tend to drop out of the relationship because of what they might be interpreted to mean. The one who wants more sex interprets non-sexual affection as an invitation to nookie. The one who wants less sex withholds affection for fear of giving the impression of being ready to get it on.

    Fortunately, sex therapists have developed a program that usually allows couples to reach a mutual accommodation by deciding how much sex they will have and scheduling in advance. For more on this program, read my low-cost e-article: How Sex Therapists Recommend Overcoming Desire Differences. You probably won’t get all the sex you want, but you may well be able to negotiate a frequency you both can live with comfortably long-term. The e-article comes with a money-back guarantee through PayPal, so it’s risk-free.

    I wish you great sex.

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