I am a 28-year-old gay man. I have recently started a new relationship with a very sweet and attractive man. He’s brilliant and lovely and I am really excited to be getting to know him.
However, I seem to be having difficulty becoming aroused and maintaining an erection when we have sex. He seems to find this very easy and is always erect just after kissing. We’ve now slept together about five times and, while I am enjoying it, I am also finding it stressful that I cannot match his sex drive. I’m worried that this will end a promising relationship before it has begun. It’s fustrating because I find him very attractive and sexy, but my body just doesn’t seem to respond. In addition, this is my first serious relationship.
A bit of background about me: I have been aroused by sex in the past with other men (however these have mostly been hook-ups). I have also experienced these difficulties with arousal and erections with some guys, however I usually take the passive ‘bottom’ role and can usually orgasm. I watched a lot of porn during my teen and early 20s and didn’t have many real-life sexual experiences, so I know my catalogue of real sex knowledge is fairly limited.
I’ve been to the doctor and had a physical and blood test. Everything is fine.
I’m really worried that something is wrong with me. I want to be close to the guy I’m with and enjoy the sex we’re having.