woman blindfolded and tied to bed frame

I have seen a lot of BDSM porn where the Dom strokes himself while flogging the tied-up sub. I can understand the Sub wanting to give the Dom pleasure but is it erotic for a Dom to cause pain…. ?

Responses

  • Michael Castleman says:

    BDSM is a popular, profound, and ironic way to play. All of it is completely consensual—flogging, hair pulling, restraint, nipple clips, whatever. BDSM is theater. Before play periods (called “scenes”), the participants negotiate exactly what’s going to happen and at what level of intensity. Like actors in a play, they develop a scrip, negotiate the details, and then act them out. If the scene plays out as planned, then BOTH participants enjoy it, just as actors in a play enjoy hitting their marks and delivering their lines as scripted.

    In a good deal of BDSM, the term is not “pain” but “intense sensation.” Subs clearly specify how much of what kind of sensation they desire. Doms provide it—and they both enjoy it. Enjoyment is guaranteed by the fact that subs have “safe words” they can invoke to stop the play anytime they feel uncomfortable. Watching BDSM scenes, it looks like the dom is in control of the sub and the action, but the irony of BDSM is that actually, the sub is the one in charge. The sub can always invoke the “safe” word and stop the action. Doms pledge to honor safe words just as sports participants pledge to obey the rules of the game.

    Is BDSM erotic? For those who enjoy it, BDSM is very erotic. In fact, those committed to BDSM often say that the pleasure and intimacy it generates are so powerful that BDSM goes “beyond sex.”

    For more on this, I suggest you obtain a copy of my low-cost e-article on BDSM. All my materials carry a money-back guarantee from PayPal so they’re risk free.

    BDSM may look like it’s about pain and suffering. Actually, it’s about mutual pleasure and profound intimacy.

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