My girlfriend has a hard time reaching orgasm. I have tried different fingering techniques but she still cannot reach a climax and now has anxiety about it making the matters worse. Any suggestions about helping her feel less anxious and some techniques I can use to help her reach a climax?
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Many women have difficulty having orgasms. In the overwhelming majority of them, the problem has nothing to do with psychological problems or issues with the love and intimacy in the relationship. Usually, the issue is sexual technique—and in most cases, some easy, enjoyable erotic adjustments resolve things and help women enjoy reliable orgasms.
You say you’ve tried different fingering techniques. To me, that implies you’ve been pressing fingers in and out of her vagina. Many women enjoy that, but the vagina has surprisingly little to do with most women’s orgasms. Only 25% of women are reliably orgasmic from intercourse by finger or erection no matter how large the fingers/erection and how long the fingering/intercourse lasts.
The organ that triggers most women’s orgasms is the clitoris, the little nub that sits outside of the vagina a couple inches above it under the top junction of the vaginal lips. The clitoris is biologically analagous to the head of the penis. I suggest you spend less time running fingers in and out of her vagina, and more time gently caressing and/or licking her clitoris. Ask her to coach you on how she likes her clitoris fondled. For more on this, I suggest you read these low-cost articles: Why So Many Women Don’t Have Orgasms, The Clitoris: New Insights, Six Ways to Help Her Have Orgasms, Caressing Women: Advanced Erotic Tips for Men, Oral Sex Enhancement, and Orgasm During Intercourse: Improving Women’s Chances.
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Focus extended, gentle, loving attention on her clitoris and I bet she has an easier time with orgasm.