He doesn’t want to have sex

We met three years ago. I recall he had some degree of difficulty with erection on our first night together. I thought it was performance anxiety and didn’t pay much attention to it. We dated long distance for a while, and when together, he seemed as much interested in sex as me, disregarding occasional issues with erection. He moved in with me and that was the end of it. All of a sudden it seemed that he couldn’t care less about sex. Nothing turned him on. No sexy lingerie, no sexual innuendos. We fought and jeopardized the relationship over this but instead we got married and now have a baby. I married under the condition that we’d see a counselor, which we did for the past 10 months. As things improve between us, erections worsen. He says it’s the result of three years of pressure, but I know the problem was there from day 1. He’s healthy, his testosterone is perfect, normal weight. I’m 36 and he’s 47. My questions are: can the lack of interest be the result of fear of failure? If so, why does he still try three years (and some therapy) later to deny that it all started with his physical problems and not vice versa?