man under sheets giving oral sex to woman

My husband loves me, but does not like giving me oral sex. I give it to him. l am thin and very clean. Boy, it hurts to be treated this way.


  • Michael Castleman says:

    I feel for you, I really do. Oral sex is a special gift most lovers really enjoy—both receiving and giving.

    Unfortunately, some men don’t like to play that way. They may believe men don’t do that. Or that the vulva is unpleasant to lick. Or that going down on women strains their necks and backs beyond their tolerance.

    If your husband has neck/back issues, you might sit on his face. Kneel over he shoulders and lower your vulva to his mouth—no neck or back strain. If he believes any of the derogatory myths about cunnilingus, he might change his mind after reading the chapter on oral sex in my book, Sizzling Sex for Life. It’s very pro-cunnilingus and says many times that few women come during intercourse, but that most do from getting gently, lovingly, patiently eaten. Sizzling Sex is available on this site and from Amazon.

    If the book doesn’t change his mind, then I’d suggest consulting a sex therapist. Sizzling Sex contains a chapter on what to expect during sex therapy. Ideally, you’d go together, but if he refuses, first I suggest you both view the movie Hope Springs with Meryl Streep and Tommy Lee Jones. He’s an older man who has “retired” from sex. She still wants to make love. Their sex therapist helps them create a happy ending. If your husband still won’t see a sex therapist, then I urge you to go solo. Of course, that’s suboptimal, but the therapist can still encourage you to vent, and suggest coping strategies that may help you and/or bring him into therapy.

    I hope you get cunnilingus. I wish you sizzling sex for life.

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