unhappy man in bed with woman

I don’t drink. I don’t smoke. I’ve had problems with ED but that’s better now. I have no problem reaching orgasm while watching porn, but during penis-vagina intercourse, I almost never ejaculate. Cuddling with my wife I get erections and we start having sex, but after 5-10 min. the lack of sensitivity in my penis makes me bored and resigned even if I maintain my boner. Is there a way for me to regain penis sensitivity?


  • Michael Castleman says:

    I’m sorry you’re having a problem with orgasm/ejaculation. You’re not alone. At some point in life, around 10 percent of men experience this, but it gets very little media attention. It’s men’s secret sex problem.

    You say you can masturbate to orgasm/ejaculation (O/E). That’s great. It means that you should be able to come inside your wife’s vagina without much difficulty. Sex therapists have developed a program that teaches men to generalize on the O/E function they still have and expand it so they can come in other situations, for example, inside a vagina. I’ve distilled this program in to a low-cost self-help e-article, Can’t Get There? Help for Orgasm/Ejaculation Difficulties. It comes with a money-back guarantee from PayPal, so it’s risk-free.

    If the self-help approach doesn’t sufficiently resolve things, or if your wife is not interested in helping you with the program, then I recommend consulting a sex therapist. If you’re unfamiliar with sex therapy, the therapist does NOT have sex with you and does NOT watch you have sex. Sex therapy is a form of talk-based psychotherapy with “homework.” In your case, homework might include you showing your wife how you self-sex to orgasm, and the two of you experimenting with man-on-top intercourse with her legs closed so her thighs provide extra friction for your penis shaft. Professional sex therapy usually takes four to six months of weekly one-hour sessions. It costs $150-200/hour, though many therapists discount fees for those who can’t afford standard rates. For more, read my low-cost article, An Intimate Look at Sex Therapy, and/or see the film, “Hope Springs” with Meryl Streep and Tommy Lee Jones. To find a sex therapist near you, visit the American Association of Sex Educators, Counselors, and Therapists, the Society for Sex Therapy and Research, or the American Board of Sexology.

    I wish you great sex and orgasms inside your wife.

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