Woman who just masterbated

I don’t know when I started to masturbate but it must have been before I was three because I remember doing it under the covers of my bed at naptime or bedtime or when waking up at that age. What I can’t remember is how I even discovered that laying down on my tummy with hands between my legs, cupping my vulva, and humping them would feel good. I didn’t know that what I was doing was masturbation, just that it felt good. But I felt ashamed about it. I always listened for my bedroom door to open up, even as a 3 or 4 year old, I worried about someone walking in and maybe checking what I was doing under my blanket if they didnt believe I was sleeping. Is this normal to somehow discover masturbation when you are that young and continue on with it for the rest of your life?

How old are most people when they discover masturbation? I have noticed a few admitting to doing it when they are young, but most people suggest puberty or late pre-puberty ages as their first time masturbating. If it really is normal for a three year old to discover masturbation accidentally, why doesn’t every 3 and 4 year old discover it? Or was I maybe special? Perhaps something has to happen first before a person can experience genital pleasure and for most people it doesn’t happen until 10 or 11 but for a few it happens much younger as in the case of myself? I don’t know.

Also, how do you believe most people discover masturbation? There are three possibilities and I am just wondering which one is the majority. The first way to discover it is I think how I did, you accidentally touch or rub down there and notice the good feeling and continue doing it perhaps long before you even know what masturbation is. The second way of discovering it would be to hear something about it maybe from school sex ed or from teenage friends who mention that rubbing down there feels good so at some point when you are alone you try it and discover it that way. You maybe didn’t know how or what you would feel, all you knew is that others feel good and you want to try for yourself. And the third way might be to actually be shown how to do it by someone? Which of those 3 ways do you think is the most common?

And finally, I was wondering for the last several months I have been masturbating less and less, not because I don’t want to but because I am busy and haven’t had time. Actually the last time I did it was a few days ago but its been a month since the last time before that. I have been getting some anxiety attacks recently and some lonely depression feelings lately almost every day actually. But after I masturbated this past Thursday, my anxiety attacks stopped. It’s too soon to tell if it’s related but could it be that my lack of masturbation caused some of that anxiety and loneliness? Its hard to find answers on the net. In fact most of the websites I have come across suggest that masturbation causes depression and anxiety but I am wondering if its the other way around that it really is more of an anxiety reliever? So much information out there but what is true?

Oh and I just remembered one more question. Is it normal to not need or want or even like pornography when masturbating? The internet suggests everyone uses that stuff but not me. I just like to rub away and enjoy what I feel. Might one of the reasons be that I dont need or want pornography is because when I was 3, 4, 5 years old and beyond I was perfectly fine masturbating without it so why complicate things and add it now?


  • Michael Castleman says:

    Yes, it’s perfectly normal to discover self-sexing as you did, as a young child. Just ask anyone who works in a daycare center. Many children slip their hands into their pants until some adult tells them either (1) Don’t, it’s bad, or (2) It’s fine, but like going to the bathroom, it’s not fine in public.

    I know of no research focused on when people first start masturbating. But as I mentioned, infant-toddler self-exploration usually results in the marvelous discovery that rubbing between the legs is pleasurable. However, some parents come down on kids really hard for solo sex, which stops some for a while. Then later, as older kids or teens, they get into it again—and often feel guilty/ashamed because of the messages their parents communicated: Don’t! You’ll go to hell. And things like that.

    Yes, in some studies, as self-sexing frequency increases, so do symptoms of anxiety and depression—largely because people were terrorized about it as kids and believe that what comes naturally must be wrong/bad/perverted/a sin. Meanwhile, many people who feel stressed, anxious, and irritable find relief from masturbation. It’s calming, relaxing, and enjoyable. If solo sex helps you with your moods, go for it. Solo sex is much cheaper and more satisfying than anti-anxiety drugs or psychotherapy.

    So you don’t like to view porn while masturbating. That’s fine, too. Porn presents male-oriented sex fantasies. They work for most men, but not for many women. I think that’s more important than the fact that you started enjoying yourself at a young age.

    If you feel misled by all the weird information on the Internet, I suggest you obtain a copy of my low-cost e-article on Masturbation. If this reply hasn’t put your mind sufficiently at ease, I bet the e-article will. It comes with a money-back guarantee through PayPal, so it’s risk-free.

    So carry on. Enjoy yourself. You’re fine.

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