Unhappy couple having problems at bedroom

I would like to ask you a couple questions. Is it normal to loose my erection in the middle of sex? It happened to me once, which scared me. But I was not getting enough sleep the days prior to it. I was going to bed late and waking up kind of early. I thought that could be the reason. And it happened only once. But I wished to clarify it with someone who can talk about it. Me and my girlfriend usually did sex with her on the top. When we tried with me on the top, I was loosing erection, not totally, but hard not enough for a penetration. I was not getting comfortable with the position for some reason. By the way, I am 25 year old. I would like to hear your advice.


  • Michael Castleman says:

    If you were seriously fatigued from significant sleep deprivation, it’s not surprising that your erection faltered. Sleep is like an essential nutrient. If you deprive yourself of it, things don’t work right, especially things that require energy, like raising erections.

    In addition, erections require deep relaxation. If you’re worried about your erection situation (“which scared me”), that anxiety constricts the arteries, including the ones that deliver blood to the penis. When you’re anxious, less blood flows into the penis, which interferes with erections.

    As for erection hassles in the man-on-top position, you’re not at all alone. That position is difficult for many men. It’s stressful. You have to support your weight. Many men worry about crushing the (usually smaller) woman under them. It can strain the back. And it can feel awkward to find the vagina and insert. That adds up to stress—and as I just mentioned, stress can impair erection.

    Finally, do you combine sex with alcohol? One drink within an hour of getting it on is usually ok, but any more and alcohol becomes a powerful central nervous system depressant that interferes with the nerve function necessary for erection. Think about it and don’t make love drunk.

    My suggestions: Get adequate sleep every night. Don’t make love drunk. Combine sex with deep relaxation. Take a hot shower beforehand. Breathe deeply while having sex. And don’t rush into intercourse. Engage in at least 20 minute of mutual whole-body massage before you attempt insertion.

    Bottom line: Your occasional difficulties are no cause for alarm. If you embrace my suggestions, you should function fine.

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