Hi, I’m right now in relationship filled with love, and I feel physically and sexually attracted to my partner. But at the same time, I have to ask: If I feel sexually interested in other people in addition to my special other, is something wrong with my relationship? And, If I consider the possibility of having sex with other people, but with the consent of my partner, is something wrong with my relationship? Does it mean that I don´t love him anymore? Note: There´s no specific person I refer my attraction to, but anyone whom I might get to feel sexually attracted.


  • Michael Castleman says:

    It’s totally normal to feel in love with and committed to one person, and yet become infatuated with someone else … or more than one. A big component of sexual attraction is novelty, somebody different, which is why many if not most people have erotic fantasies involving people other than their partner. There may be things wrong with your relationship, but in my opinion, this is not one of them. I believe in freedom of fantasy. Fantasies are no problem. It’s attempts to make them real that cause problems. Keep things in the fantasy realm, and all is well.

    About non-monogamy with a partner’s consent: Around 1 to 2 percent of American couples do this: swingers, polyamory folks, and others who are hyper-sexual. If the two of you want to play that way, I’m sure there’s at least one sex club and swing group in your vicinity. For more about this, read my low-cost e-article, The Curious Couple’s Guide to Occasional Non-Monogamy.

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