Couple in bed playing

Hi. I’m a 31-year-old a brain cancer survivor with early peri-menopause. My vagina is really dry before, during, and after sex. My sex partner sometimes forgets the KY Jelly, which is crucial for my comfort. I was wondering if 100% coconut oil can be used as a replacement for KY?


  • Michael Castleman says:

    If lubricant is crucial to your sexual comfort, I urge YOU to take responsibility for having it on hand. I suggest you visit your local pharmacy and buy every lube brand there: KY, Astroglide, Probe, and any others. Use them together and copiously.

    In addition, I urge you to tell your partner in no uncertain terms that you NEED lots of lube every time. Recruit your partner to help you apply lubes and welcome them into your lovemaking.

    For extra lubrication, you can certainly try coconut oil or vegetable or nut oils. But oils do not wash out of the vagina as easily as the water-based lubricants I mentioned above. Sometimes, residual oils that remain in the vagina change the vaginal ecology and may be associated with increased risk of vaginal discomfort or infections. If these develop, stop using oils.

    Finally, if vaginal intercourse feels uncomfortable even with lubricants, I suggest you consider focusing on all the marvelous, satisfying ways couples can enjoy sex without intercourse: mutual whole-body massage, mutual genital massage, oral sex, toys, and perhaps some anal play and kink. For more on this, read my low-cost e-article Great Sex Without Intercourse.

    I wish you great—and comfortable—sex.

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