Hi Michael,
Have you ever heard of someone being numb to sexual touch? I’m 26 years old and I’ve never had sex. It may be the situations/people I’m picking but when I attempt to “have sex” my body just doesn’t respond, and when I’m kissing I have low arousal. I have been like this for around 5-6 years and it’s distressing. I grew up with negative messages about the female body. My mom was insecure, jealous, and wouldn’t want my dad to look at sex scenes on tv, they would fight sometimes. Just don’t know if that can contribute to my issues.
Responses
Leave a Response
You must be logged in to post a comment.
The short answer is that I can’t say why you’re numb to sexual touch.
The longer answer is that you may be “asexual.” Asexual folks aren’t interested in sex and don’t become aroused during erotic play. Until the past 10 years or so, sexologists recognized on three types of sexuality: heterosexual, homosexual, and bisexual. But recent research shows that some people have no interest in sex at all, that they are asexual. I’m not saying that you ARE asexual, just that your description suggests that you may be. For more on asexuality, I urge you to visit the Asexual Visibility and Education Network (AVEN).
Beyond that, sex therapy might help you come to terms with your family-of-origin sexual issues and who you are now. Sex therapy usually takes four to six months of weekly one-hour sessions. It costs $150-200/hour, though many therapists discount fees for those who can’t afford standard rates. For more, read my low-cost article, An Intimate Look at Sex Therapy, and/or see the film, “Hope Springs” with Meryl Streep and Tommy Lee Jones. To find a sex therapist near you, visit the American Association of Sex Educators, Counselors, and Therapists, the Society for Sex Therapy and Research, or the American Board of Sexology.