For a long time now, I have watched a lot of porn. It has caused problems in my marriage in the past. Now I’m having problems lasting or getting an erection when I try to have sex with my wife. I find myself avoiding sex in fear of not being able to please her. I love my wife and I want to fix this problem. If you have any tips on fixing my PE, ED, and porn addiction? It would help save a 20-year relationship.

Responses

  • Michael Castleman says:

    Many women hate porn, feel threatened by it, don’t understand why men watch so much of it, and berate and shame men for watching, and call them porn addicts.

    Unfortunately, women have no idea what it feels like to have man-sized portions of testosterone coursing through their bloodstreams. The male sex hormone makes men think about sex a lot more than most women do, and masturbate much more. Self-sexing requires friction and fantasies. The man’s hand provides the friction, but after a while, men’s own fantasies get stale, so guys turn to porn—and the Internet contains zillions of hot fantasies available for free.

    In my view, unless porn interferes with your schooling, job, friendships, family responsibilities, or relationship, there’s nothing wrong with watching it—and stroking to it. Everyone deserves personal downtime. Everyone has a right to self-soothing. In their downtime, most women self-soothe by talking with girlfriends, shopping, or participating in hobbies. Men self-soothe with hobbies, but most men also self-soothe with porn. This is NOT an addiction in the sense of tobacco or heroin. It’s just the way men spend some of their free time. It’s like watching TV. And it’s usually fine. Except that many women feel disgusted and threatened by it. They berate men, and men wind up feeling guilty, ashamed, and stressed out.

    If you have a 20-year relationship, I’m guessing you’re in your 40s or 50s. That’s the time of life when erections start to become iffy. This is normal. If you’d like to know how to preserve your erections for as long as possible, I suggest you obtain a copy of my low-cost e-book, Enjoy the Best Sex of Your Life. It has a chapter on middle-age erection balkiness and several other chapters on ED. One big contributor to ED is emotional stress, for example, the stress you may feel because your wife chastises you for watching porn.

    When middle-aged men develop incipient erection difficulties, they get stressed. This stress, combined with the stress you feel about porn, becomes a vicious cycle. You’re stressed. It contributes to your ED. The ED makes you feel more stressed. And your ED gets worse. My e-book contains information o prevenmtig and treating ED.

    In addition, emotional stress is a key cause of premature ejaculation. When men develop early erection difficulties, they subconsciously think: I better use it before I lose it. That’s probably why you’ve developed premature ejaculation. That and perhaps a sexual style that’s too penis-focused, one that doesn’t contain enough whole-body massage. My e-book contains a comprehensive discussion of PE and a do-it-yourself version of the simple, very effective cure sex therapists have developed.

    You say you’re also stressed because you fear you’re no longer able to sexually satisfy your wife. This feeling is common among men with erection challenges. They think intercourse is the key to women’s erotic satisfaction and that if they can’t slip it in, women can’t be satisfied. Actually, only 25% of women are reliably orgasmic from just intercourse. Women’s pleasure organ is the clitoris, which sits an inch or so above the vagina beneath the top junction of the vaginal lips. Intercourse doesn’t provide enough clitoral stimulation to work most women up to O’s. To come, most women need their nub rubbed by hand, tongue, or sex toy. In other words, your lips and tongue are more important to her pleasure than your dick is. You CAN satisfy her—if you let go of the idea that you need a stiffie to do it. My e-book contains a great deal of information about how men can please women, even if they no longer get hard.

    Finally, here’s my best advice about your stroking to porn: Feel free, just don’t get caught. Clear your browsers after you wank or set them not to record your history. Same for your phone. Most women simply don’t understand men’s need to yank and the visual aids that make it enjoyable.

    I hope you consider my e-book. I’m confident its 135 chapters would help you and your wife. I wish you great sex.

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