Unhappy couple having problems at bedroom

How can I get my boyfriend to stop being so self-conscious about not getting a full erection?


  • Michael Castleman says:

    Show him my reply to your question:

    Erection depends on increased blood flow into the penis. When men feel deeply relaxed, the arteries that supply blood to the penis open (dilate), allowing extra blood to flow into the organ’s spongy erectile tissues. But when men feel stressed, anxious, worried, or self-conscious, those same arteries constrict, limiting blood inflow, and decreasing the firmness of erections. In other words, the more you worry about not getting a full erection, the softer your erections will be.

    My suggestions: Stop obsessing about your erections. Consciously relax before sex: Exercise. Meditate or do something like yoga. Take a hot bath or shower. When you become sexual, kiss, cuddle, breathe deeply, and massage your lover from head to toe for at least 30 minutes before you reach between her legs. Similarly, ask her to kiss, cuddle, and massage you from head to toe for at least 30 minutes before reaching for your penis. All these activities are deeply relaxing—and should help your penile arteries open so you can enjoy firmer erections.

    In addition, you don’t say how old your boyfriend is, but after around 45, erections naturally become less firm. Sorry, but that’s life. Men over 45 should not compare their erections to those they had at 20, nor to those they see in porn (most heavily medicated with erection drugs). With age, firmness declines—but pleasure does not.

    Your boyfriend might also try an erection drug. If he’s interested, he should consult his doctor.

    Finally, you both might read the articles in my book “Sizzling Sex” for further insights.

    I hope this helps.

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