Close-up of senior couple focusing on worried woman

I remarried in 1990 and for many years our sex life was great, but it declined over time to non-existent. I am now 72, my wife 66. While on vacation to the ocean, our favorite place, she regained interest in sex, and it became a passion that I can’t understand. Now home, we are going to bed naked, listening to our favorite music till 2 a.m. I am so bothered by my inability to get an erection, as in days gone by, she says it does not batter, but to me it does. What to do?


  • Michael Castleman says:

    It’s well documented that many women suffer libido loss during menopause. It’s also documented that some years later, some women regain lost libido. Your wife appears to be one of them.

    I’m sorry that you’ve lost your erections. But by age 70, around 95 percent of men have. I feel for you. It’s a major drag. You have two choices—give up on sex, or adapt to your current circumstances. Sounds like your wife favors adaptation, but you’re having a problem with that.

    Here’s the good news that may surprise you. Intercourse may be necessary (usually) for procreation. But it’s NOT necessary for pleasure. Even with no erections, men can experience erotic pleasure and earthquake orgasms from hand jobs and/or oral sex. It’s an adjustment to bid farewell to intercourse. But virtually every older man who remains sexual shifts away from intercourse to what sex experts call “outercourse,” all the other ways to enjoy erotic pleasure.

    If you email me your mailing address, I’ll send you a FREE copy of my book, Sizzling Sex for Life. It contains a chapter on elder sex that should help you enjoy sizzling lovemaking as you and your wife age.

    I wish you sizzling sex for life.

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