Woman teasing man

I’m hoping you can help me. I’ve known a girl for 7 years who’s constantly teasing me and flashing me and leads me on sexually while occasionally participating in sexual acts with me but wants nothing to do with me dating or relationship wise and acts like everything is normal. I obsess over her and can’t stop and she gets annoyed and upset with me about my feelings and attractions for her. She even does it to me when she’s dating other guys. I don’t know what to do. I feel stuck, and so far no one has been able to help me. Can you?


  • Michael Castleman says:

    Some people have a deep need to feel reassured that they’re attractive. Teasing accomplishes that. It keeps you on a string, paying lots of attention to her, which reassures her that she’s a hottie who men find desirable. So she gets her needs met, but you don’t.

    What to do? You have three choices. You can continue being teased. You can change her reactions to you. Or you can change your reactions to her. You say you don’t want to continue as it. And after seven years, it seems highly unlikely that you can change her. So that leaves changing your reactions to her.

    If I were in your position, I’d cut off all contact, just stop relating to her, and move on. Seven years dancing like a marionette on a string would be more than enough for me. There are lots of other fish in the sea. I’d look for another gal. That would hurt for a while. I’d miss the occasional sex. But then it would hurt less, and finally I’d be over her.

    But that’s me. How you react is up to you. Good luck making your decision.

  • pattiz219 says:

    I agree that she is definitely using you to boost her self esteem. You cannot change someone, only yourself. If by now she is not interested, then you need to change both your reactions to her and move on to another girl that wants that sort of relationship you desire. You state, “She even does it to me when she’s dating other guys”. Is that really what you want in your girlfriend?

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