worried middle aged man

About 20 years ago, I would shave and see small spots on the side of my penis. I assumed they were caused by shaving. I’d leave that area alone and they would go away after time. Every once in awhile I would notice another small spot and again leave it alone. About 5 or 6 years ago, some spots showed up but they are still there and seem darker. I have been with my wife for 23 years and have never cheated. I’m sure she hasn’t either. My wife had a full battery of std testing 2 years ago and all were negative. Normally I would ignore this and assume they would just go away again, but recently I was told I need surgery and got worried I was gonna go in and wake up with some kind of other problem. I am worried I have had and currently have a wart break out. How could that be possible with my wife testing negative. Does that mean she gave it to me? Thanks


  • Michael Castleman says:

    You may well have genital warts, aka human papillomavirus or HPV. I urge you to call your doctor or public health department. Most public health departments operate clinics that diagnose and treat sexually transmitted infections. Get evaluated, and if you have HPV, get treated. Also understand that genital warts can be quite persistent and require several repeat treatments. But with perseverance, you CAN get rid of them.

    I also urge your wife to get retested, just in case. It’s possible her test a few years ago didn’t pick up an active infection. Viruses are sneaky. You don’t want to ping-pong the infection back and forth between you, so both of you should get evaluated together and if necessary treated together.

    About cheating: Genital warts are virtually always spread sexually. However, they often cause no symptoms for years. It’s quite possible that you got infected by some long forgotten lover before you and your wife ever met. I realize that’s a long time ago, but viruses are sneaky and HPV can lie dormant in the body for quite a while.

    If you have warts, how could your wife have escaped them? Because there’s only around a 20 percent chance of passing the infection to partners. It’s quite possible that your wife’s immune system has been sufficiently robust to prevent her infection even if she’s been exposed through you.

    My advice: Let go of the idea that one of you had to be unfaithful. That’s not the case. If you have HPV, the virus could have been remained dormant in you for years before erupting. You and your wife should both get tested. If you’re positive, follow the doctor’s instructions. And if not, a doctor should be able to diagnose those bumps as something else.

    I wish you great sex.

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