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Dealing with a wife who has very different ideas about sex?

unhappy couple having conflict in bed at home

people, relationship difficulties and family concept - unhappy couple having conflict in bed at home

My wife and I have been married 12 years and have 3 children. We have been through the usual ups and downs, including very different ideas about sex. Sex between us used to be her getting naked, laying on the bed and saying something like, “I’ve only got so much time…”. I did get her to change a bit from that and after a lot of work she eventually got to where she would wear lingerie. But the constant in our sex is that she generally does not kiss, she keeps her eyes closed, and after a few orgasms she makes it obvious that she is ready for a nap. During sex I will generally have to ask her about some form of group sex scenario to get much of a rise out of her. When I finish, she immediately gets up to go to the bathroom and then at best she will come back and sort of cuddle for a short time and then she gets up. In the end, I feel like a non distinct “f@ck buddy” or a living sex toy for her to have multiple orgasms. She rarely touches me and also does not mention anything about me being sexually attractive or being good in bed. In all previous relationships, there was a normal give and take of such communication. I have talked about this with her but we have reached a sort of dead end. I am not sure that I can stay married or faithful due to the effect this has on me and my sexual desire for her, which has now reached close to zero.

Thanks for any help!

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