I am a 44 year old male who is fairly sexually experienced. I have had many partners, both in short term relationships and two marriages (8 and 9 years), so while I am no expert I feel I am somewhat knowledgeable, have a fair degree of common sense and am very self aware and open to feedback / criticism. I have been with my partner for two years now and part of the issue stems from her being extremely deceptive and dishonest during the first 4-6 months of our relationship. While this is not the topic at hand, it does affect trust, which does, I believe.
The issue is I am concerned she is being dishonest when it comes to whether or not she is actually having orgasm with me. Now, I know you cannot definitively say one way or the other (you would probably be on an island you owned if you could) but I am looking for your clinical opinion based on my details. My partner says, without a doubt and emphatically she does. My questioning comes from multiple areas:
1. She does not have ANY pelvic contractions, ever, when she has a claimed orgasm from me. This is from manual stimulation, oral stimulation or penetration. They cannot be visibly seen or felt, even with my fingers inside or her.
2. Her orgasms come fast, sometimes within 1-3 minutes and she can sometimes orgasm 6-8 times within a session.
3. Sometimes there is little to no vaginal lubrication present, even after several orgasms.
4. We experimented with a vibrator for a short period of time (she had one when we met, we no longer have any) and when she had an orgasm with that there were clear and visible contractions present.
Now, I understand every woman is different, and every orgasm even in the same woman is different but I find it hard to fathom that she would NEVER experience contractions with me, EVER, even once, but with a toy they are there like clockwork. I also understand that they may be MORE intense with a vibrator, but again, to not have contractions even once in two years? Taking all of this into consideration…no contractions, no secretions even during / post orgasm, quickness and quantity or said orgasm…taking into consideration her lying and deception early on, am I way off base to be concerned? I have gotten the typical, shrug it off answers from doctors, therapists and the like, usually consisting of…does she say she does? Then whats the problem?….
I know that in reading many pieces, that some women don’t experience intense contractions and they may be light or even difficult to detect. When I look at all of the fact though I’m left wondering if she is being honest. Any light you can shed or expertise would be and is greatly appreciated. I cannot express my gratitude for your time.