Recently, my husband and I have rekindled our sex life after not having sex for several years because of his alcohol addiction. He’s been sober now for about 9 months, so wonderful! (I was going to separate). However, I have caught him looking at porn several times even though he knows I am feeling very sexual, in fact, more than I ever have in my life and I even told him it was crazy but I was always horny and into having sex/making love most of the time, more than he is. Note: he is experiencing penile dysfunction and recently quit smoking to heal that. I am enjoy oral sex and casual hand jobs if he’s busy. I should add that I am very attractive with a trim, firm body and a very pretty face. I get comments all the time from people about my physical appearance and people are always shocked at my age. I told him I want to do whatever will turn him on and we discussed wearing short skirts and tight see-through tops so we could have fun when I bend over and look sexy for him walking around the house. So we shopped together for these things and I certainly felt very sexy in them. Soon after to my horror, I again found that he had been on a porn site looking at upskirts with no panties even when I was doing that very thing. He lied at first as he usually does. Finally he admitted it. He always says it’s nothing like the real thing with me and also that he’s not used to my being sexual, something he’s getting used to. After so many years without sex you’d think he’d be all over me! By the way, after several times finding him looking at porn he says he realizes now the extent of how it affects me which is very serious. I told him I can’t approve of his looking at porn for so many reasons and he is saying he has hardly any interest anymore and says it is easier to quit porn then it was to quit alcohol and just as easy as it was to quit cigarettes and that it’s gotten boring. Of course there’s a trust issue, that’s hard for me to believe. He’s really a kind, good man and I do know he loves me very much. However, the problem now is that I can’t seem to get myself to wear the sexy outfits for him knowing that he was and might still be looking at other women in the same way. I want to have sex with him but I am turned off because of this problem. I feel silly and humiliated like I am competing. How can I be uninhibited and sexual with him again and should I never wear those short skirts again? Would I be degrading myself to wear them? Am I second best?
My husband’s porn watching
