My vagina is way too loose!

I just have a question in regards to your article in Psychology Today
speaking of vaginal looseness and tightening. I have an issue with vaginal
looseness. It feels like a giant open cavity when my partner is inside of me
and it’s hard for me to feel him. He is well endowed. I struggle with
kegels a lot as I can’t find the time to do them once a day let alone as
many times as you said to in your article. When I am alone and using a toy I
have no issues with feeling it. I guess I am relaxed and I am not having any
performance anxiety. My partner is not into foreplay. It really is a turn
off for me. But again I try to get into when I am on top but it sparks my
anxiety and ability to feel him and I feel very loose and not grounded. We
have done the position that you suggested with myself legs closed with him on
top – it definitely helps but I feel he isn’t able to go deep enough. The
other position that works is me laying on my front with legs closed. But I
really want to do more positions. I can’t access my clitoris in either and
so it’s less enjoyable for me. We really are not intimate and a times I
feel our touch is awkward because we don’t touch enough. Or even build the
intimacy before intercourse. If all it takes is me strengthening my pelvic
floor than I will do it! But please help guide me here! Feel very lost!
I’ve never had children so I can’t relate to why I am so loose feeling
and I am 42 but I’ve had this issue since my 30s.