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I can’t have orgasms during sex

I am 22. So, I have been masturbating for 10 years now with a back massager. Then 3 years ago, I met my boyfriend and I’ve only been able to orgasm through sex 3 times. I am able to get off with oral pleasure or his hand with not too much of a problem but the lack of orgasm during sex is beginning to take a toll on us both. He is really wonderful and we do try different things to help me but nothing helps. Since I can only get off with repeated sensation in a certain area and his penis just doesn’t do it for me, does that mean all the years of using the massager sort of ruined me? And also, what sort of things do you think I can do to help me reach orgasm. I appreciate any advice you can give me.

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