I’m very upset and so is my wife. I’m 46 and healthy. I can get an erection just fine when I masturbate. Sometimes I also wake up with morning erections. But during sex with my wife, I’m having real erectile dysfunction. Sometimes I don’t get hard at all. Other times, I get it up, and then lose it. I love my wife. I find her very sexually attractive. And I’m not having an affair. But she wonders if I love her, if I’m attracted to her, and if I’m cheating. Help!

I’m a 42-year-old man, married to a woman I love, and we have three kids. Before marrying, I had sex with six other women. No men. But I’ve always thought about having sex with men, sucking their cocks and having them suck me. Lately, I’ve been spending time on gay porn sites. And when my wife sucks me, I imagine it’s a man. The thing is, I still love my wife, still enjoy sex with her, and fantasize about women, too. And I’ve never had sex with a man. What’s up with this?

My girlfriend wants me to lick her asshole. She says it’s fantastic. Really? I was married for 23 years and thought my late wife and I had a fairly adventurous sex life, but we never did that, and I’m not sure how I feel about it. Is it clean? Safe?

I’m 37 and already my hair has flecks of gray. Will my bush go gray, too?

My daughter is 17 and plans to lose her virginity soon with her boyfriend, a young man her father and I both like. They’re being very responsible about this. I encouraged her to get her first pelvic exam, which revealed a problem. Her gynecologist (who I also see) told her she has a thicker than normal hymen and that her first time will be painful. Now she’s anxious about having sex. I thought hymens could be removed, but the gynecologist suggested she use a dildo or vibrator to stretch it. Is that her only option? I don’t want her first sexual experience to be painful and neither does she!

My husband’s personal hygiene, or lack of it, is a big turn-off for me. He brushes his teeth only in the morning, never before sex. He doesn’t use deodorant. He never washes up before sex. And he doesn’t bathe enough in general.

I try to set an example. I am always very clean and well-groomed. Granted, some people are earthier than I am. He’s one. Smells don’t seem to bother him. I might be considered prissy by many, but at the same time, I just can’t get interested in the idea of sex unless the man is well-groomed and clean. How can I get him to wash up, especially before sex?

I’m a 55-year-old woman, and have always had a pretty happy sex life. But lately, it’s getting harder for me to come! Right when I am “on the verge,” I lose it and have to work up to it all over again. This doesn’t happen when I masturbate, just with my husband. We’re both frustrated. Lube helps a little but not much. Suggestions? Supplements? This is getting very annoying. Thanks.

I am 67 years old. My prostate was removed in 1999, but I got semi-erections till 2005. Now, nothing, even with lots of attention. Anything I can do?

I’m 48. The last several times, a few days after sex, I get this burning sensation in my vagina. My boyfriend, 50, has a history of herpes, so we use condoms. Do you think I could be allergic to latex? It doesn’t feel like a bladder infection, but I’m concerned about that, too.

My first husband wanted anal sex, so we tried it, and it hurt so much I said never again. That was 20 years ago. Now I’m widowed and in a new relationship and my new man is asking about anal. I told him what happened last time, how I tried it and swore off it. He’s 61 and says he can’t get hard enough for anal intercourse and just wants to finger me. I want to please him, but I’m phobic about any anal. Help!