Free Q&A Archive

Can a 72-year-old woman widowed for 10 years still lubricate to have sex with a 52 year old man? I really need to know this as I have only had one partner in my life.

What do I do, it’s obvious he is very much turned on, but nothing rises up. We both have insecurity issues and it’s the beginning of our friendship. What can we do?

My wife of 15 years recently told me I don’t satisfy her any longer. My penis or fingers no longer “fill her.” I’m very angry, but not looking to leave. What toys do you possibly suggest that can excite her and not make me feel any “smaller” than I’m already feeling.

I was diagnosed with very low T (below 250)several years ago and Testosterone therapy made a HUGE improvement in my quality of life. My concern is, if for some reason I had to stop taking Testosterone (i.e., a cancer diagnosis, or inability to afford it if I lost my insurance coverage) would I become impotent? I assume that since my T level was originally low, and since beginning treatment my testes have not had to work, they may no longer be able to produce any T at all. My natural level right now may possibly be zero. (I make the distinction here between infertility and impotence – at my age I am no longer interested in having children, but I AM worried about the prospect of becoming sexually non-functional).

Is there a way to increase the number of “contractions” you feel during orgasm?

Also, I was under the impression that the feeling of semen passing through the urethra with each contraction was what caused the pleasure of orgasm (the bigger the “load” the more pleasure). But I read elsewhere on this forum that men who produce little or even no seminal fluid during orgasm still feel pleasure – is this true? Is it the contraction alone that causes pleasure?

I know there are lubricants that are specifically edible and flavored, but what about others like silicone lubes? Are they dangerous if ingested during oral sex?

I am a 44 year old male who is fairly sexually experienced. I have had many partners, both in short term relationships and two marriages (8 and 9 years), so while I am no expert I feel I am somewhat knowledgeable, have a fair degree of common sense and am very self aware and open to feedback / criticism. I have been with my partner for two years now and part of the issue stems from her being extremely deceptive and dishonest during the first 4-6 months of our relationship. While this is not the topic at hand, it does affect trust, which does, I believe.

The issue is I am concerned she is being dishonest when it comes to whether or not she is actually having orgasm with me. Now, I know you cannot definitively say one way or the other (you would probably be on an island you owned if you could) but I am looking for your clinical opinion based on my details. My partner says, without a doubt and emphatically she does. My questioning comes from multiple areas:

1. She does not have ANY pelvic contractions, ever, when she has a claimed orgasm from me. This is from manual stimulation, oral stimulation or penetration. They cannot be visibly seen or felt, even with my fingers inside or her.
2. Her orgasms come fast, sometimes within 1-3 minutes and she can sometimes orgasm 6-8 times within a session.
3. Sometimes there is little to no vaginal lubrication present, even after several orgasms.
4. We experimented with a vibrator for a short period of time (she had one when we met, we no longer have any) and when she had an orgasm with that there were clear and visible contractions present.

Now, I understand every woman is different, and every orgasm even in the same woman is different but I find it hard to fathom that she would NEVER experience contractions with me, EVER, even once, but with a toy they are there like clockwork. I also understand that they may be MORE intense with a vibrator, but again, to not have contractions even once in two years? Taking all of this into consideration…no contractions, no secretions even during / post orgasm, quickness and quantity or said orgasm…taking into consideration her lying and deception early on, am I way off base to be concerned? I have gotten the typical, shrug it off answers from doctors, therapists and the like, usually consisting of…does she say she does? Then whats the problem?….

I know that in reading many pieces, that some women don’t experience intense contractions and they may be light or even difficult to detect. When I look at all of the fact though I’m left wondering if she is being honest. Any light you can shed or expertise would be and is greatly appreciated. I cannot express my gratitude for your time.

My son told me today that he has an inability to climax in 9 out of 10 times whether it is through sex with someone else or even masturbating. He gets strong erections and can maintain them, but can climax only with great difficulty. He has experienced terrible depression for years, and this all began when he was 16. He has self medicated with drugs and alcohol for years and still struggles with this.

I am a 47-year-old male who has been on testosterone therapy for about 5 years. I have to take the highest daily gel dose possible in order to get my T levels into the mid 500s. I’ve noticed lately that it’s taking an uncomfortably long time to reach orgasm. This isn’t something that happened suddenly, but gradually. With complete focused attention it should take under 5 minutes, but it now takes me at least 30 minutes, and ejaculation produces a smaller amount than usual, only about 1/2 teaspoon. And the orgasmic feeling is less satisfying and shorter duration. My testes have shrunk somewhat over time with the HRT. I have no libido problems or erectile difficulties. The best way I can describe how I feel is “the well is running dry”. I’m afraid of eventually becoming sexually non-functional, I would be devastated if that happened. Would even higher doses of Testosterone (injections or implants vs. gel) fix the problem, or would that make it worse? I don’t have any known health or psych problems that could be causing this. Can this deficiency be fixed with pill supplements of some sort? What do you recommend?

I have never had an orgasm when I have sex with my boyfriend. Yet I get orgasms when I masturbate. What could be the issue? And how do I deal with it so I can enjoy sex?