My wife of 15 years recently told me I don’t satisfy her any longer. My penis or fingers no longer “fill her.” I’m very angry, but not looking to leave. What toys do you possibly suggest that can excite her and not make me feel any “smaller” than I’m already feeling.


  • Michael Castleman says:

    I see three issues here:

    • Her loss of sexual interest in the way things have been.
    • Your anger and confusion over her decision.
    • Which toys to incorporate into your play.

    To find good toys, I suggest you visit Adam & Eve and look at Vibrators, Dildos, and Toys for Her. There is no shortage of dildos and phallic vibrators. You might shop together and buy a few she likes.

    As for the other two issues, you both might benefit from a short course of sex therapy. A therapist could help her articulate what precisely isn’t working for her, and help you articulate your feelings, too. It might help clear the air so you can actually enjoy playing with toys. To find a sex therapist near your, visit the American Association of Sex Educators, Counselors, and Therapists, the Society for Sex Therapy and Research, or the American Board of Sexology.

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