A young woman on a stool kissing her tall boyfriend

I help moderate a forum where men and women talk about so-called “big dick problems”, including sexual and intimacy issues. We currently have over 30,000 members.

One topic that often comes up is how much a woman’s vagina can stretch. Experts agree; sex does not cause the vagina to permanently loosen. Rather, the vaginal walls relax and stretch during intercourse, and then return their original shape afterwards.

But this offers little hope to those women who have pain or difficulty having sex with their well-endowed partners. There are many stories from women who have stretched themselves out over time. For example, some simply spent many months regularly having sex until they were able to adequately handle their partner. Others used mechanical methods, such as regularly inserting objects, and over time were able to increase the size that they could comfortably handle.

But these anecdotes contradict what experts say; that such stretching is impossible. So is it actually is possible, in such cases, for women to permanently stretch themselves out so they might have sex with their partners?


  • Michael Castleman says:

    The vagina is not a hole. It is filled with tightly folded muscle tissue. When a baby is about to be born, this tissue unfolds and stretches to allow the child into the world. Vaginal muscle tissue remains stretched for a while (a few weeks, a month) and then refolds back to normal. If the vagina can accommodate a baby about the size of a small watermelon, it can accommodate ANY size penis. On the other hand, as you mention, women whose lovers have unusually large penises often complain that intercourse is uncomfortable or painful.

    The issue is not the size of the penis. It’s the relaxation—or lack of it—of the vaginal muscle tissue. During lovemaking, as women relax into sensual arousal, their vaginal musculature relaxes to some extent to allow for comfortable penis insertion. The more sensual and extended the foreplay, the more it involves leisurely, playful, whole-body mutual massage that ideally lasts around 30 minutes before intercourse, the more relaxed the vaginal musculature becomes. But if lovers engage in porn-style sex involving little mutual whole-body massage, and the man plunges into intercourse quickly, the woman’s vaginal musculature has no time to relax, and a big penis (or even normal-sized erections) can cause discomfort or pain.

    You mention that women can train themselves to accept large erections by practice or by inserting objects. This doesn’t stretch women permanently. It trains them to relax their vaginal musculature sufficiently so that they notice a difference.

    No matter what size the erection, a wham-bam sexual style that focuses on intercourse can cause women discomfort. Sexologists generally recommend 20 to 30 minutes of leisurely, playful, mutual whole-body massage and cunnilingus before the couple attempts intercourse. That gives women the time they need to warm up and be able to comfortably accept erections. It also helps men raise and maintain erections, and last as long as they’d like.

    For more on this read my low-cost article, The Plain Truth About Tight and Loose Vaginas.

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