When I don’t use lube, I come quickly. So I like to use it. But my wife doesn’t like lube. What should I do?

Hi! I hope my question isn’t too much of a party pooper, but what do you think about rape fantasies “normalizing” rape as a sexual and not a violent act? I can see how, and so I would appreciate your thoughts on it. Thank you in advance—you rock!

I have been trying for years to open my wife up to fuck other men. A few years ago she opened up to sexting with me and another man. She enjoyed it and participated and we all three enjoyed it. Then suddenly, as if she was spooked, she said she didn’t want to do it anymore. My whole motivation was to have it evolve into her fucking the other man while I watched, or having a threesome with her. I was very disappointed but kept trying to convince her. She listened. She rarely said that she didn’t think it was for her as she had previously. I took it slow but would bring it up to her occasionally without pushing too hard. Finally, she said she had reservations because she wanted to get in better shape and build up her self-esteem. I didn’t push her but suggested I get her a personal trainer and we could see how it goes. She has been going to a personal trainer now for six months and she said how much of an improvement she has noticed in herself physically. I took the opportunity to tell her that I fully support her working out and love that she is pleased with her growing self-esteem. I told her that I wanted her to continue because although I thought she looked amazing even before going to a personal trainer, I wanted her to feel good so we could explore her being with other men. I suggested sensual massage as an ice breaker and she never said “no”. She just asked if anyone could hear me as I was having this conversation with her on my lunch break over the phone. She just asked me if her working out and looking better wasn’t enough for me. I replied that it was and seeing her feeling and looking better together with me wanting her to explore her sexuality with another man and being fully satisfied makes it the perfect combination. She never said no and I didn’t want to push it any further. I ended the conversation by telling her that I would support her and will pay for her to continue seeing a trainer and we can see where it goes. How should I interpret this? Please help!

In chapter 5 of “Sizzling Sex For Life”, you discuss whole-body massage. It seems to me that in order to do such massage, one would have to be standing upright next to their partner who is lying prone or sitting. Is that what you have in mind in this discussion?

I been following you for awhile. Thanks for all you do. I been reading about the different herbs that help with sexual arousal, erection and/or energy. I like to know what you feel is the best herbs to try for better sexual arousal, better erection (and harder)? I am getting closer to 50 than 40. I have been exercising and eating better. At this time I don’t have any physical ailment like diabetes or ms. I am still working on getting in shape and it’s going to take time, but while I am getting in shape I like to have a “boost” because I noticed recently that I am not as hard or not staying hard long enough and I have to time it right. I just got my wife back into wanting it again by telling her that we will try different stuff and try spice up our love life. She is on board but last weekend I had an issue. Seems like it been getting worse last few months. Just had blood test and everything checked out. Low vitamin D but where I live that is normal. Last weekend I was so embarrassed because I never had this problem before. I need some advice and booster. I do have some immune issues and been on antibiotic for face issues. I have times when I feel fatigued. I try taking a lot of vitamins or eating fruits and veggies. I know eventually at least I hope I will not need the booster any more. I have done a lot of studying last two weeks of different herbs. Please help and would appreciate that this is private email between us. Thank you

My my wife and I have been married for 35 years. My wife has had surgery and is no longer interested in sex. She has told me she doesn’t care if she ever has sex again. That upsets me. I now watch porn daily. I feel like I need to because I get very horny. Am I a porn addict?

My wife has never experienced orgasm. How can I help her have one? I love to touch her all over, play and taste her clitorises, message her. She doesn’t enjoy sex. Lately she just says let’s get it over with and takes off her clothes and lays there. Soemtimes I just want to leave and find someone else, but I don’t. I  kiss her, play with her breasts and her clitoris. I use oil because she is very very dry down below. Most of the time, I feel like I’m making love to a plastic doll. She doesn’t move or touch me anywhere. What can I do to hopefully get her to have an orgasm, so maybe she will enjoy sex.

 

My longtime wife and I enjoy great sex together. Overall, it’s glorious, and usually goes on for an hour. We take turns giving and receiving pleasure, which includes oral around 90% of the time, and it always ending in orgasms for both of us.

But one thing I’d really like she won’t do. That’s initiating blow jobs. I’d love it if she would unbuckle my pants and suck me. I’ve hinted, and asked, but she won’t do it. Also, she has made it clear she does not want to kiss after I go down on her. And sometimes she reacts like she doesn’t care for the precum taste, which is where her cocksucking typically ends. She asks for penetration, which is not a bad thing actually

Perhaps it’s just the thought of the semen that she struggles with. It’s been a long journey over 30+ years of marriage. She just seems to have hit a boundary that I would love to get through. We are both fit and healthy 50 somethings and theres lots of hope …just could use some pointers to get a breakthrough

You’re all wrong about female masturbation. We masturbate as much as men, but many women are ashamed to admit it because of society. We even start earlier than guys. I was 5 yrs. old much younger than my brothers when I started. I think you should get rid of your sexist views. Many women are upset with your sexist views. We are visual, we masturbate as much as men and our sex drives are as strong as a mens. We get multiple orgasms, men can’t and we can go all night, men can’t.

I was talking to a nice, attractive, single, elderly 70-yr-old lady who is in great shape who I swim laps with. She paid me a compliment telling me I was in great shape and asked me how old I was and my height and weight? I responded that she looked great, too. Then I said I would answer her two questions if she told me the same about her. So I said I am 77 & 5’7″, and weigh 125, the same weight I was in high school. Then she said 67, 5’4″ and 116. Then she asked if I still had a “hard body.”  My response: Are you asking me if I can still get it up? She said yes. My response: Yes, but not like when I was 16. Then she said:  My lady friends and I feel sexually frustrated. Most older men are DEAD IN BED! We still want intercourse, and elderly men with erection are almost impossible to find. Why don’t more men get implants. Many of us woman get breast implants…. Implants sound like a no brainer to us ladies—and Medicare covers the surgery. Is it just men’s vanity & insecurity they are hung up on? I for one still like to rock & roll and under the sheets too at my age & believe in the old saying USE IT OR LOSE IT! What do you think about this?