In chapter 5 of “Sizzling Sex For Life”, you discuss whole-body massage. It seems to me that in order to do such massage, one would have to be standing upright next to their partner who is lying prone or sitting. Is that what you have in mind in this discussion?


  • Michael Castleman says:

    Yes and no. When people say “massage,” what springs to mind is what you said, the massager standing over the recipient, who is either lying prone or supine, or seated. But sex is adult play, and adults can play with massage in many other ways. Both can be lying on their sides. Both can be seated or standing. Use your imagination. Creative adaptation is particularly important for people with physical disabilities or chronic medical conditions. There is no “right” way to perform or receive massage, just what works for you. The idea behind my massage recommendation in Chapter 5 of my book, Sizzling Sex For Life, is that gentle, sensual touching, rubbing, stroking of the whole body is deeply relaxing, and deep relaxation is a prerequisite for sizzling sex. So it doesn’t matter how you perform or receive massage, as long as the provider caresses the receiver’s whole-body, from head to toe.

    I wish you sizzling sex for life!

  • Gregnik says:

    Thank you for your answer.
    I believe you that gentle and sensual touching and stroking all over can be relaxing and calming.
    For me, though, touching and stroking, however gentle, makes me anxious. Both giving and receiving gentle touch make me tense up.
    In this case, I think counseling with a therapist who specializes in sex issues may be helpful. I sure hope so.

  • Michael Castleman says:

    Yes, I agree that a brief consultation with a sex therapist might help. To find a sex therapist near you, visit the American Association of Sex Educators, Counselors, and Therapists, the Society for Sex Therapy and Research, or the American Board of Sexology. I wish you the best!

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