I am 40 years old and haven`t been with a woman sexually for 17 years, since age 22. And at 22, I had only one single encounter with a prostitute. For the rest of 17 years there has been a lot of masturbation and pornography use. Now I have a girlfriend, but cannot maintain erections during foreplay or intercourse. When I masturbate, I can keep my erections for 2 and a half hours. But  with my girlfriend, after 15-20 minutes of foreplay, the initial “fire” fades, and I start having cold sweats and I lose my erection. I also feel bored, not interested in her body, and guilty that I feel this way and don’t satisfy her. Also, the few times I’ve been able to penetrate her, I’ve lost my erection inside her after 5-10 minutes. Almost always, from the start, I have performance anxiety, wondering how long my erection will last. I had medical tests. They all show I am fully healthy. A psychiatrist told me that what I describe shows that, due to chronic masturbation and absence of vaginal intercourse, my brain is trained to need strong sexual stimuli which is achieved with my palm but a vagina cannot provide, along with intense stress I suffer from. For stress I do meditate, and do gymnastics. How do I rewire my brain to get stimulated by my gf’s body and feeling excited inside her vagina?

I wanted to ask a question about masturbation. Is masturbating unnatural or weird? Recently, my mother has caught me masturbating (I am male btw.) And she got very angry with me and called me many names. The next day, I avoided her as much as I could and spoke very little to her. Later that same day, she came to me telling me that she better not ever catch me doing that again. I responded saying that she acts as if masturbation is unnatural and she replied that it is. She has caught me other times too and acted the same way each time. The simple solution would be to go somewhere private and lock the door but the problem is that my mother will not allow me to ever lock my doors or just be by myself for long periods of times. She never knocks and just walks right into my room. I don’t understand why she thinks masturbation is unnatural either. She is a Christian and she does try to force her thoughts or beliefs onto other people rather than accept that people have different views.

I’m concerned about my penis size, but my wife says I have no reason to feel concerned! We have a dildo that is much larger than me and she would rather cum on that than my average size penis. How do I introduce a penis sleeve so that we can feel good together? Without upsetting her?

I have an uncircumcised dick. When I’m retract my foreskin, it hurts a bit. For that reason I used to masturbate by rubbing the head of my penis while watching porn. Since my first sex a few months ago, I was able to masturbate for quite a while watching porn and rubbing the head. But my first sex with a call girl was a disaster. I ejaculated very quickly. I was aroused for the second time and had sex. But as my foreskin is hard to retract and painful I wasn’t able to enjoy the sex as I didn’t feel much. My penis felt numb during intercourse as I pulled back the foreskin and put on a condom. From that day onwards, I ejaculate too quickly. My head is the most sensitive part of my penis and I feel it becomes huge and aroused so quickly after few touches. I feel I come to edge very soon and my head feels like a volcano which is about to explode. And I noticed that if I ejaculated within last 24 hours, I can last a bit longer and my dick feels half erected and not aroused so much. But if I haven’t ejaculated in some time, I get close to the edge quickly. I tried the start-stop method, and squeeze method, but those things just dealt my ejaculation temporarily. When I touch my dick again, I wanna ejaculate. So they haven’t helped me to extend the time to get to the edge. My head i just very sensitive, and when I retract the foreskin, it hurts when I touch the uncovered head. And after retracting the foreskin doesn’t go back to normal position unless I guide them back. For your information, I have been taking meds for social anxiety for few years. Please help me. I’m really scared and worried.

We are both over 50. She wants to watch me get oral sex from another women. Vaginal sex hurts her. We’ve tried lubes. She says she’s just not interested. But she has this request. I do not know what to do. It may be pleasing for me but will it harm our relationship?

Does meditation really help with PE? I’ve heard it’s very beneficial.

I’m 33. My girlfriend is 36. We have a desire difference. She wants to have more sex than I do. Also she wants me to initiate sex more often. Since she tends to initiate sex a lot, I often don’t feel compelled to want more sex beyond that or initiate. This issue is causing a lot of strain in our relationship. Please help.

As adolescents, all my peers engaged in intercourse with their partners. I’ve always said no to mine whenever the topic came up. I’ve been pressured to think that it’s fun and I still say no. But I’ve always been curious about the right timing. What the right age for intercourse?

When I tried to introduce swinging to the wife, at first she just refused. Months later I told her of my fantasy of her her being fucked by another guy. She indicated it might be possible. That night she was very horny. While making love, I repeated my fantasy. But the week later I brought up the subject she refused to talk about it. How do I approach the subject again? I know it turns us both on. Occasionally she tells me in a joking manner I should screw another gal.

I am a male heterosexual who has been married for over 25 years. Since teenage, my best erotic experiences have involved oral sex….both giving and receiving. Initially, oral sex was the best option to avoid pregnancy, but later, once intercourse was the norm in marriage, I soon associated intercourse with “work” or “performance” instead of the relaxation and release that I had enjoyed with oral sex. Indeed, it became work when we were trying to conceive due to fertility issues with all the timing and temperatures. We were eventually successful in having two children under a doctor’s care. However, even afterwards, intercourse dogged my mind as a performance expectation with the goal of giving my wife an orgasm, which to this day, I have never achieved. Although probably irrational, I subconsciously believe it is my fault. Our routine for the past decade or so involves me orally or manually helping her orgasm and then giving her the penetration she desires until I climax inside her. In recent years, I only fantasize about oral sex. I associate it with better, more enjoyable times when I just could watch and feel the pleasure with no thought of work or performance. It is on mind every time we have intercourse, to the point that now I am losing my erection during intercourse, as if I know it is a waste of time. Silly, I know. Sex feels good and should never be considered a waste of time, but I know the end before I begin even though my wife still wants the penetration. More often lately, I cannot ejaculate inside her and I literally lose my erection unless she jacks me off with her hand. Towel to follow for quick clean-up. She will not perform oral after I have been inside her. My wife will give me oral sex but only if I ask after she climaxes and before I penetrate her – foregoing her preference, which makes me feel selfish or guilty. Cue the above routine. For me to be fully satisfied, I need her to be satisfied. I want her to want me….ALL of me. I feel like I provide that to her. Admittedly, I have resorted to watching oral porn exclusively for release, but I think it has only enhanced my fantasy rather than satisfy it. I long for her self-initiated desire to give me blowjobs because she wants to savor me. I don’t want to ask. On her own volition, I just want her to go down on me, enthusiastically and fully engaged in the act until she receives my semen in or around her mouth. My fantasy is not necessarily a “swallow” expectation but rather her full desire to taste me and the consequence of the pleasure she gives me. I don’t want my semen regarded as just something to clean up. All of this said, I have a good marriage. My wife is loving and not frigid at all. I accept that the problem is me failing to communicate.

So, all of this background leads to my three-part question:

Is there something wrong with me for wanting oral sex over the intercourse freely available to me?

How do I express my desires and fantasies without appearing selfish?

Regarding semen, how do I transform it from a bodily fluid to be cleaned-up to an expression of love and pleasure to be wanted and solicited?