Free Q&A Archive

I am 68 and enjoy “mature” free porn. But I’m afraid that viewing porn is wrong and really legal. I don’t want to break any laws, but enjoy the photos and video of women my age or older. I don’t buy subscriptions or download anything. Is my fear real? Do I need to stop viewing porn?

I am a counsellor in England and seem to encounter a frequent problem in my counseling room. Since you have so much experience answering sex questions, I thought I would ask in case you know the answer. This could save me hours of research.

Men in long-term marriages/relationships seem to be willing to accept all types of touch, including oral sex performed on them. But few are willing to kiss, cuddle, or touch their partners in they ways they want to be touched. They are often especially reluctant to provide oral sex. Their partners come to me very sad. They love their partners but resent their men’s their lack of intimate connection.

These women are becoming increasingly paranoid about their physical appearance losing confidence, and judging themselves as if they are doing something wrong.

I wonder: Has there been a shift in men’s behaviour? Or am I just seeing more women who complain of dissatisfaction in the bedroom, especially no oral.

Why don’t men understand what women need? How do I help these women help their husbands to understand?

I have enjoyed masturbating while self administering enemas (2+ quarts). Am I the only one? If not, how often is this technique used, and how many men admit to using this for sexual pleasure? I know it is a great turn on for many.

I’m love with shemale women. I’m looking for a shemale woman to date in Dallas, TX. Can you help me?

I’m not sure if I have a problem or a fetish. I am a 45-year-old man and married for nearly 20 years. I’m a life long sufferer of PE and tried various things to try and last longer. However, I’ve recently thought of my PE as a fetish which has had the effect of making me even quicker, to the point where I cannot penetrate my wife’s vagina. I do try to satisfy her orally and she says she doesn’t mind me not penetrating her. However, is there a risk that over time the lack of intercourse could effect our emotional connection? The acceptance of my PE as a fetish has made me so quick I’m not sure how I could regain any control.

I remarried in 1990 and for many years our sex life was great, but it declined over time to non-existent. I am now 72, my wife 66. While on vacation to the ocean, our favorite place, she regained interest in sex, and it became a passion that I can’t understand. Now home, we are going to bed naked, listening to our favorite music till 2 a.m. I am so bothered by my inability to get an erection, as in days gone by, she says it does not batter, but to me it does. What to do?

After I gained weight, my husband stopped visiting me for sex. My weight gain turned him off, and he chose to masturbate instead of having sex with me. After a time (1 to 2) months he came back to have sex with me but says it was because it felt better. Ugg! Then he says he finally realized what he had in me as a wife…..wish I could believe him. He is now older and this has come to light only within the last two years. I am soooo crushed. Your thoughts?

I read something you wrote that made a lot of sense, but also left me with a
question. To paraphrase my understanding, you said that men have shown a
wide-ranging variety of preferences for female body types (beyond the Barbie-doll Playboy depiction) as evidenced by the many body types presented on porn websites. Here’s my question:

Do you think ideal female body type preferences held by males who came of age
during the Playboy era were influenced by the body types shown in Playboy and
similar magazines?

Everybody talks about desensitzing the penis when it comes to premature ejaculation. My problem is that I don’t think about how good it feels, but looking at my wife makes me ejaculate quicker. Such as looking at her breasts shake or her face tense up. Doggie style is the worst because I see her breasts dangling and within an instant I get to the point of no return and I ejaculate. I can’t find any information about about the visualizing just the sensitivity. I feel that I should close my eyes and think about something completely different. Although alcohol is not a good prescription, it definitely does help. I am just over forty and my premature ejaculation is worse now than when I was in my 20’s.

Usually when I have sex, I try to get as deep into women as possible. Yesterday I was with a woman and I had to back off a little bit. It was hard to stay in. She said she was small and tight. And her hole was all the way down towards the back, farther back than I’ve ever seen. Maybe this person had a sex change or something….  Is this normal?