I’m a 60-year-old woman with a high sex drive. I’m in a new relationship with a 71-year-old man. I’m falling in love with him, but we haven’t been intimate yet. I’m worried that he won’t be able to satisfy me sexually. Intercourse is very important to me. We are talking about living together but sometimes I’m not sure I’d be happy. I don’t know what to do. Ideas?
Hello, Mr. Castleman. Thanks for providing this free service. I’ll try to be brief. My wife and I are in our early 50’s. We’ve been together for 15 years, and our sex life was terrific and very adventurous for many years. She entered menopause about 18 months ago, and it has been a real challenge for her.And me. Most significantly, night sweats and hot flashes. Also, some minor weight gain which she absolutely hates. She thinks I notice this, but I don’t. To me, she is perpetually beautiful. And, predictably, she’s had a large loss of libido. We still have sex about once every two weeks, but I’m pretty sure she would be content to stop sexual activity altogether. Our agreement now is that she is the initiator, when and if it’s going to happen. When it does happen, it’s vanilla and efficient. Based on other stories I’ve heard, I know I should be (and I am) grateful for any sex at all. My wife is committed to experiencing menopause in a natural way, without drugs or supplements, which I totally support.
Here are my questions: Does menopause level out? Can we expect that her hot flashes, etc., will eventually diminish, and her libido will return in some real way?
I believe I am a supportive partner. I am open to being more so. I would also like to not lose myself in this experience. Despite my age, I am grateful to say I am healthy and very sexually interested, and am hopeful for something of an eventual “bounce back,” as time is fleeting.
I’ve left out a few details, but that’s the gist. Thanks for your time.
I recently began seeing this new guy. His penis is much longer and skinnier than my previous partner’s. His was about an 1.5″ shorter but had more girth. My new partner doesn’t seem to maintain a full erection while having sex. Would a cock ring help? I mean I can’t make myself tighter. Any advice would be appreciated.
Is nipple play truly safe?
How do I show my boyfriend that I’m totally into him? He’s so critical. He thinks I’m not attracted to him and we end up fighting while starting to get in the mood cuz I don’t touch him right or it’s this or that like I don’t blow him right. Please help I don’t want to lose him. How can I be slutty?
What is ovulation period? How many days is it? Des it vary like the menstrual cycle? When is a lady considered to be in her infertile time?
My boyfriend wants one of those expensive silicone sex dolls. I try to be sex positive & welcoming of all fantasies, but the idea of him pulling a lifelike doll out of the closet multiple times a week to masturbate with is disturbing. I feel like I might lose respect for him or even worse, want to sleep with other men because I’m angry & grossed out. How do I approach this?
Hello, what do you think of the Penuma Enlargement Procedure? The doctor who came up with this is located in Los Angles I believe.
My guy doesn’t want to watch straight porn. He’ll get a bit weird. He will only watch lesbian porn saying he feels insecure about the men in porn.
Me (male) and my partner (female) have been arguing a lot about my porn use (5 year relationship). I will try to keep it short. I use it sometimes to masturbate since I was teen like 15 years ago. I always thought that my porn use was so very personal and benign, that I never considered to share my use of porn with anyone (not even my parents, they don’t know that I watch porn, and if they do, they do not mind), so I tried to keep it out of sight, but not totally hidden. Right now, I am in a relationship and the thing is that I have realized with the years that my girlfriend is very snoopy. She found out my porn use snooping through my phone, USB sticks, computer without me knowing (found stuff even from before we met). Then, the discussion began (she is hurt, she cries, she says is disgusting, she says I am comparing her, she says its rape and denigration, that I am immature, makes ultimatums, etc, etc……and I feel terrible) and as you have stated on your books and articles, I have come to hide it since it is something I enjoy while masturbating alone sometimes. She keeps going throught all my devices/browser and I have told her not to anymore. Now she asks me to show my phone to her and going through everything for hours under the idea of transparency, honesty and that there should be nothing to hide in a relationship (that is not snooping anymore?!). Sometimes she finds something porn related triggering a fight, but most times there is nothing. That’s the big picture, but now I am going to list some note worthy aspects of our relationship so I can give you a better undestanding of our relationship and hopefully I can get better feedback:
-The rest of the relationship feels good and it is going very well. I love her, she loves me and both try to do things for the other. Finance communication is great, we are very open in our daily life, we usually go on dates twice per week. Expectations on everything else besides the porn issue is ok.
-My girlfriend wants to stay virgin until marriage and I decided to respect her decision so our sexual encounters include only handjobs, maybe oral sex and mutual masturbation. We don’t have intercourse.
-My sex drive is higher. I need to come off 3-4 times per week on average, sometimes more and sometimes less. Our sex encounters are 1-2 times per week, sometimes more, sometimes less. The times she is unavailable, I just masturbate alone and sometimes I use porn for that. She believes that masturbation (for her this is childish but tolerable) and sex should be always thinking on her.
-We both work, but the problem has intensified now that we work at home because of the pandemic she snoops more and more.
-It took me a lot of effort for her to come to a couple therapist and she didn’t want to listen to a sex therapist I contacted, because “no one can tell her in what to believe”.
-She has started to show controlling behavior in what movies scenes we look and videogames I play because she thinks that sexy images triggers me to go look for porn.
-She has also started fighting over other things not porn related like whatsapp messages between me and my friends like “I can’t play online tonight because the internet is being used at home”.
-Therapy is not working.
-As a last resort before giving up the relationship, I am trying to change my masturbation habits, without promising success, using vibrators and imagination instead of porn, since she doesn’t want to share with me sexy pictures or audios of her when she is not available.
My questions are: I have shown her my phone everytime she has asked me to, for the sake of transparency and honesty, and our couple therapist reinforced that. The last weeks not a single porn image has been found, yet, we kept fighting over other things and her anxiety keeps rising. I am sure now that my girlfriend has trust issues beyond what she believes on the porn usage (why snoop in the first place?), and whatever the result on my phone search her anxiety grows and almost ends in a fight. So I believe now that I have been making a mistake by showing her my phone since it only keeps her obsession going and her distrust is not going away. And I think I just should lock my phone/PC away for a long long time and stop budging to her demands about showing her all my stuff, as measure to stop the cycle on the spot since the problem has moved on from porn to other things. What do you recommend in my case? Should I try do this as a last resort or just call it quits and stop this nonsense? What is your vision of a relationship like ours 10 years into the future? Thank you.