Free Q&A Archive

I am a man  taking 25 mgs of trazadone prescribed by my doctor to help me sleep. It works great! However, it’s causing me bad sexual side effects: loss of erections and loss of ability to have orgasms. I have been on the drug for a month now. Someone suggested that instead of changing my anti-depressant, I should possibly add a 75mg of wellburin two hours before sex. This would only be occasionally. What you do recommend?

I’m 42 and still a virgin and almost fully convinced there is NO possibility of it ever happening. I’m not really a bad looking guy but feel invisible to opposite sex. I would love to meet some nice but very introverted woman. Any suggestions? I seriously think there is something wrong me (not joking). This is really starting to affect me.

Recently, my husband and I have rekindled our sex life after not having sex for several years because of his alcohol addiction. He’s been sober now for about 9 months, so wonderful! (I was going to separate). However, I have caught him looking at porn several times even though he knows I am feeling very sexual, in fact, more than I ever have in my life and I even told him it was crazy but I was always horny and into having sex/making love most of the time, more than he is. Note: he is experiencing penile dysfunction and recently quit smoking to heal that. I am enjoy oral sex and casual hand jobs if he’s busy. I should add that I am very attractive with a trim, firm body and a very pretty face. I get comments all the time from people about my physical appearance and people are always shocked at my age. I told him I want to do whatever will turn him on and we discussed wearing short skirts and tight see-through tops so we could have fun when I bend over and look sexy for him walking around the house. So we shopped together for these things and I certainly felt very sexy in them. Soon after to my horror, I again found that he had been on a porn site looking at upskirts with no panties even when I was doing that very thing. He lied at first as he usually does. Finally he admitted it. He always says it’s nothing like the real thing with me and also that he’s not used to my being sexual, something he’s getting used to. After so many years without sex you’d think he’d be all over me! By the way, after several times finding him looking at porn he says he realizes now the extent of how it affects me which is very serious. I told him I can’t approve of his looking at porn for so many reasons and he is saying he has hardly any interest anymore and says it is easier to quit porn then it was to quit alcohol and just as easy as it was to quit cigarettes and that it’s gotten boring. Of course there’s a trust issue, that’s hard for me to believe. He’s really a kind, good man and I do know he loves me very much. However, the problem now is that I can’t seem to get myself to wear the sexy outfits for him knowing that he was and might still be looking at other women in the same way. I want to have sex with him but I am turned off because of this problem. I feel silly and humiliated like I am competing. How can I be uninhibited and sexual with him again and should I never wear those short skirts again? Would I be degrading myself to wear them? Am I second best?

I am a 56-year-old woman involved for 2 years with a 74-year-old man. He
has tried pills, hormone therapy and even I ejections. He is a wonderful
lover who brings me to orgasm every time with his hands (sometimes taking
over an hour). Once or twice a month I can bring him to orgasm through
fellatio. He no longer gets rigid enough for penetration (which I would
love but I have much better orgasms through clitoral stimulation). He has
been considering going into surgery to get a penis pump and I worry about
something terrible going wrong during the operation.

I have come to believe that as we age sex goes from being physical to being
more emotional. It’s easy to lose the warm, animalistic fury we once had when
you consider the time and energy you have to put into it fighting off all the
frustrating problems that usually appear. The bottom line being you can have
that sexual fulfilling relationship as long as you both put forth the effort
and have the desire, drive and mind to do so. What was once physical and blew
our minds becomes mindful so we can blow away our bodies! It is definitely
not for unmotivated and lazy people. We plan our love-making. Using the
countdown as a type of foreplay, readying our minds and imaginations together
with the love and devotion we share with each other to still have a amazing,
mind-blowing sex life.

We still keep up-to-date about anything that my enhance our relationship. I have
enjoyed many of your writings in the past. You also encourage feed-back.
Thank you for your insight and the work you do.

Around a year ago, I finally got into bed with my long-term crush. I was very nervous since I’ve been dreaming about this night for years. So nervous, that I had an erection problem. Never had one before in my life. So we didn’t end up having sex and not long after we broke up (tho the reason was notmy fuck up in bed). Since that night, I’ve been very anxious about having sex with anybody. I’m extremely worried about experiencing erectile problems again and embarrassing myself. I’d really would like to try but I’m very anxious… any advice on overcoming this fear?

How do you make a woman squirt?

Last weekend, I was looking for one of my sweaters that was missing. Sometimes my clothes get accidentally hung up in my sister’s closet. So, the first place I looked for it after checking the laundry room was my sister’s closet.

But as soon as I opened the closet door, I was surprisingly shocked to find my seven year old sister inside. I opened up the door and nearly tripped over her legs.

And if that wasn’t surprising enough, I noticed that she was naked from her waist down with her hands very active between her legs.

I looked shocked and surprised at her in that moment, but just discovering a person sitting alone inside a dark closet after opening up its door is surprising and unexpected enough.

But it was awkward and I didn’t know what to do so I just kind of said, “Sorry, I didn’t realize you were in here,” while slowly backing up and walking away.

I believe she was masturbating behind her closed closet door because her bedroom door does not lock. She probably feels more privacy lying down in a corner of her dark closet than she would lying down on her bed.

But that afternoon, she did not come out of her bedroom for a long time after, and she was acting anxious and nervous the rest of the day.

Even up to today, she still seems off, and acting differently around me.

But putting myself in her shoes, if that was me, I imagine I would feel similar and take a real long time to get over it as well.

I am wondering if maybe this incident needs to be talked about somehow, just her and me. I want this dark cloud hanging over her head to be over. At the same time, what if bringing up this subject causes more stress to her and is exactly what she is trying to avoid right now?

And she is only seven, she probably doesn’t actually know what masturbation is and that it’s normal.

I saw your advice to the question about penis sleeves/prosthetics. My wife has told me when she’s drunk that I’m too small for her. That wasn’t a fun thing to hear. Is there anything I can do besides a prosthetic. Those seem kind of weird to me. Are there any supplements I can take safely to get bigger? She rarely wants my penis either orally or in her vulva. She usually wants toys. I’m just trying to find a way to keep her happy because I’m so small apparently.

Help! I’ve recently discovered a repressed sexual fantasy about my Dad!
It feels good but also confusing…

It started when I began started working in his office as an intern

He’s very high up and manages alot of people.

Alot of people answer to him and call him boss. I didn’t realize til recently how much power he had over so many people.

Seeing him in this environment has chnaged my perception of him, the way he commands authority over others and they respect, obey and even fear him.

I also see lots of attractive, well dressed female co-workers flirt with him, or try to, even hot young ones and he just takes it in his stride.
I guess lots of women are attracted to power and success. It makes me feel strangely jealous or threatened to see it but I don’t know why.

I’ve always had a boss fantasy and been turned on by guys in suits but recently my experience at his office has starting creeping into my fantasies.

I keep imagining myself, bent over the desk his office while he takes me from behind and dominates me, like a boss and calling me out for wearing my skirt too short around the office (which he hasn’t said yet but I know he’s thinking). I want him to call me Daddy’s girl and f*** me hard against the desk and I know it sounds depraved but I can’t help myself.

I keep touching myself and coming to this fantasy over and over and don’t know how to get it out of my head.

Is this normal? Is it ok to have such fantasies in private and masturbate to them?

I am 33 y/o guy, still bachelor and still virgin. Sometimes I feel very depressed that I need a girl and I have not. Is it ok to go to a sex worker? Actually, I think it’s socially bad but I don’t see any other way to solve my problem. Tell me, will it be the right decision?