I am 33 y/o guy, still bachelor and still virgin. Sometimes I feel very depressed that I need a girl and I have not. Is it ok to go to a sex worker? Actually, I think it’s socially bad but I don’t see any other way to solve my problem. Tell me, will it be the right decision?
Responses
Leave a Response
You must be logged in to post a comment.
I can’t tell you what’s right or wrong. You have to decide that for yourself. You can keep your life as is. Or find a sex partner. If you go the latter route, practically speaking, you have three options. Sex worker. Surrogate partner. Or friend.
Your not alone. Around 2 percent of men are virgins after 25, as in no penis-vagina intercourse. Many are accomplished and sociable. But relationships never went anywhere. Like you, virtually all older virgins feel anxious, depressed, ashamed, and confused about how it all came to pass.
It might help to visit a sex worker. But most sex workers are only about sucking and fucking. Enjoyable sex involves more than that. For example, comfort and relaxation. That may or may not be available from many sex workers, and i’s important, especially for virgins. Search the Internet for sex workers near you. I suggest negotiating in advance for a “girlfriend experience.” That implies a more relaxed pace with a woman who tries to act like a girlfriend. No guarantees.
Surrogate partners are sex counselors who work with sex therapists to help older virgins feel more comfortable about themselves, their own bodies’, women’s bodies, and erotic contact that usually involves kissing, hugging, and mutual massage including the woman’s breasts and both sets of genitals. Some surrogate partners provide oral sex and teach men to go down on women. And some are happy to go all the way. For more on surrogate partners, visit the International Professional Surrogates Association. To engage one, you have to work through a sex therapist. To find a sex therapist near you, visit the American Association of Sex Educators, Counselors, and Therapists, the Society for Sex Therapy and Research, or the American Board of Sexology.
Finally, a friend. A woman you know and like and feel reasonably comfortable with. A real friend. Someone you trust. You tell her your situation and ask for her help changing it. To some women, this would be out of the question. But others might be into it, and some women really enjoy teaching men about lovemaking. If you can work up the nerve to ask a friend and she declines, you could ask if she knows anyone who might be willing. If that conversation feels like too much, then surrogate or sex worker. Or not. It’s up to you.