Free Q&A Archive

Michael, I’m so glad I found your articles on sex after 40 and your blog. My husband, 60, has been uninterested in sex since going on SSRIs a few years ago and recently was ready to give up on sex. I emailed him some of your articles and he immediately wanted to read more and bought your book, “Great Sex” last week. It has already made a difference! There may be hope for our love life.

I’m a 45-year-old man, married since 1995 with 2 kids, 9 and 14. For a few years now I’ve suffered from erectile dysfunction. For the past  year, I have not been able to have intercourse with my wife. My penis does not get firm enough to enter her. Sometimes it becomes somewhat hard but within a few seconds it lost its strength. I’m so frustrated  that I cannot concentrate to my work. I have seen my doctor several times here in Bangladesh. He gave me Indegra (Indian Viagra), but it hasn’t helped much. It makes my penis hard for only a few minutes. And I don’t like the side effects, especially, increased body temperature.  I also have diabetes. I take medicine to control my blood sugar level. Four years ago, I visited a doctor in India for treatment of my sexual disorder. He said my testosterone is in the normal range and gave me Scitapram (Szitalopram, 20 mg daily). I took it regularly for 3 years but it did not improve my sexual capacity. Now for one year, my wife and I have not had sex, which is hampering my family life. My wife directly and indirectly harasses me about it. But I can do nothing except get frustrated. Please give me suggestions and direct me to proper medicines that I can buy in Bangladesh.

My wife is 45 years old and does not have any sex desire. I like sex very much. I love her very much cannot live without her. But she never wants to have sex. My sex life is totally destroyed. For the past 5 years, she is being treated for depression—desvenlafaxine 50 mg at bed time. The medication has made her aggressive and destroyed communication between us.  She blames me for everything. I am very upset with her behavior, and sometimes want to kill myself. What should I do?

Can a penis to grow larger after the age of 40 ?

I don’t have great desire for sex. Quite often I go soft in the middle of it. It seems once in a month is fine for me, though my partner wants 2 or 3 times in a week. I  can’t keep up.
It’s also frustrating when I hear of husbands doing 2 or 3 times in a night.
Its even more frustrating to hear some of my friends of my age can go whole night.
And I easily get bored with same woman. I know it’s happening due to the weakness of my overall sexual health. I am 40 and in good health. Please help.

Hi, I’m 43 and my husband is 45. Happily married for over 20 years. We’ve alway had great sex at least 4-5 times per week. He’s healthy, doesn’t smoke, drinks occasionally, plays hockey regularly, our kids are 23, 14, 12. My problem is that I’d like to have sex with him even more often: 2-3 per day every day. It doesn’t have to be a penetration. Oral sex is great too. I look at him and I become wet. When I tell my husband, he says he can’t keep up with me. What should I do? I want him to want me as much as I do. Please help.

Three days ago, I had unprotected sex with my girlfriend who is 22 yrs old. Both of us are virgins. While having sex, i did not go deep inside her but slightly inserted inside, she did not bleed while having sex , which shows that i didn’t even break the tightness. But i was rubbing my penis on her vagina and I was careful while finishing by ejaculating outside her vagina…  Her period should have happened yesterday, but didn’t. I  worried that she would become pregnant so I suggested that she take iPill . She took it roughly 50 hrs after sex, i.e. with in 72 hrs of our sex. She had a little white bleed  and has tiredness, back pain …but her period is still delayed …. plz help me, we both are scared about it …. is there any chances of pregnancy & does iPill work at this stage? Plzzz plzzz plzz answer my question.

What can I do to help my lover get hard before we have sex?

I am at 38 yrs old and my wife is 34 and obese. The problem is that during foreplay she gets wet enough but after penetration she gets dry. Consequently it becomes painful to carry on. So we depend on lubricant. With lubes she comes faster than usual! I tried to figure out the solution. Could this be due to my small manhood with thinner grith? Or does her bulky body prevents her from being wet for long time? She has enough sexual desire.
Please help.

I am a male, 65 years young, that got infected by my second wife who failed to tell me during our 8 year marriage that she was HIV positive. I was tested before the marriage and was negative. I only found out when she was diagnosed with AIDS 11 days before she died. What are the statistics/numbers of the danger from unprotected sexual intercourse with an infected woman? I know there have been study groups of heterosexuals and wondered what % actually got infected? I have had undetectable viral load and t-cells 575-675 for 12 years. I also had a vasectomy in 1971. Do you have numbers to share?