Free Q&A Archive

I have been involved with my partner now for nearly five years. When we first slept together she told me that she was still a virgin at the age of 43. This shocked me, but we share many interests and generally get on fine. I thought I could make the relationship work. She has lived for years on her own, so when I moved in she had a great deal of culture shock.

My problem is that she can never relax. She is a very driven classical musicians who comes from a very high achieving family but as an outsider ever so slightly dysfunctional.

We are taking a break from each other at the moment, I want it to work, but she has a real problem with intimacy. The strangest thing is that when we are standing in line at the store or in a cafe, she is all huggy and kissy, but when it comes to the bedroom, she says she is too tired. When we did make time to go to bed, the sex is always a one-way street, a lot of me stroking, caressing, and playing with her genitals, which brings her to orgasm, but she has real trouble  being intimate with me.

I have put up with this for many years but I feel that this relationship is one step forwards and then two steps back. When I leave,  she says she doesn’t want me to go, but when I have been away for a couple of days, it takes a couple of hours for her to calm down. She has had mild mental heath problems in the past. I’m getting tired of this “50 first dates” feeling, when we have been apart for a few days, it’s wearing me down. And her problem with intimacy with my genitalia just makes it worse, she won’t talk about it, I think she needs to see a therapist, sorry that was a long one.

I have a problem in sex. I ejaculate premature. i do not satisfy my sex mate. Help!

At 50 after some 30 years of a disappointing sex life, I’m starting to become VERY COMFORTABLE with the idea of being single, alone, and sexless for the rest of my life.

To the rest of the frustrated mid-age women, I say, “Sorry, ladies, but what comes around goes around.”

I’ll welcome arguments to the contrary, but why should I care if my libido is down after 40, or 50, or 60?

I am a healthy 42-year-old woman free of all STD’s. After I bathe, the little bit of fluid from my vagina is clean-smelling. But when I get highly aroused, my vaginal fluid takes on a rather musky aroma. Is this normal? My doctor says everything checks out fine. Can you elaborate on this topic for me? I truly enjoy oral sex, and when I have tasted my husband’s fluid, his is less pungent. Are there any foods t can eat to make my genitals smell less musky? Thank you for your time and kindness in advance.

I write to you from South Africa. I am the grandmother to a three year old child who started masturbating at two and a half years. I took her to the Specialist who gave her Risperdal to be taken at night. She was given a repeat prescription. In December, she started all over again most probably because she was with her mother who forgot to give her the medication. In January, my daughter read about homeopathic Carsinosin on the Internet. I took the child to a Homeopath who gave her some tablets to chew. The condition has not improved. She masturbates anytime and this embarrasses us. Can you give me any advice?

My wife (42) says she has no sexual desire, but does not entertain the thought of anything to get me off—not anything—so I’m left without also. Is their anything I can do? Besides spending a lot of time in the shower….

I lived in Brazil for a few years. Yes the women are as passionate as their reputations, the whole country is! A favorite move for many of them is to put a finger in a man’s rectum and give a prostate massage while having sex until he comes. I’ve never seen this recommended in any sex articles or books. It’s great and solves a lot of ejaculatory problems. What’s the big hang up?

I’m 42. My husband is 38. We both enjoy sex, well, I used to, but last year I was in a car crash, which left me with back pain that hasn’t gone away. Medication helps, but ever since the accident, I’ve lost my sex drive and have no libido. Because of my pain, I’m rarely in the mood any more. My husband has been very supportive during my recovery, but he’s getting very frustrated with our sex life, which is pretty much non-existent at the moment. Is there anything I can take to heighten my libido? HELP PLEASE.

I have nerve damage from an accident and can only maintain a partial erection during intercourse. I’ve heard of a penis extender called PPAs (prosthetic penis attachment) that are supposed to provide a firm erection. Is this true? Would you have any suggestions and where to purchase?

I am 44 years old. My lover accuses me of having sex with other men because my vagina is sometimes loose. But really I am not sleeping with anyone else. How can I make him believe me? I can not explain why my vagina is loose sometimes. And it’s just sometimes, not all the time, sometimes it’s tight. Maybe you can explain this? Thank you very much.