I’m 42. My husband is 38. We both enjoy sex, well, I used to, but last year I was in a car crash, which left me with back pain that hasn’t gone away. Medication helps, but ever since the accident, I’ve lost my sex drive and have no libido. Because of my pain, I’m rarely in the mood any more. My husband has been very supportive during my recovery, but he’s getting very frustrated with our sex life, which is pretty much non-existent at the moment. Is there anything I can take to heighten my libido? HELP PLEASE.
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I’m sorry you’re having this problem, but I’m confident that you can move from where you are to a better place. I usually start by recommending self-help resources, but in your case, I doubt that do-it-yourself approaches will be sufficient. So I urge you to consult a sex therapist. A sex therapist will not urge you to want sex more, or your husband to want it any less. The therapist will help the two of you work out ways you can still enjoy intimate closeness, despite your pain. Studies show that more than two-thirds of people who consult sex therapists report significant improvement. For more on sex therapy read An Intimate Look at Sex Therapy. To find a sex therapist near you, visit the American Association of Sex Educators, Counselors, and Therapists, or the Society for Sex Therapy and Research, or the American Board of Sexology.