Free Q&A Archive

Over the last dozen years or so, my wife of 22 years has slowly withdrawn from sex. We used to do it twice a week. Now we’re down to once every few months. I can’t stand it. I’ve tried everything, but she just doesn’t seem interested. I considered leaving her, but we have a family, and except for the way sex has poisoned our relationship, we have a good marriage. I had a six-month affair with a woman who loves sex, but broke it off because I love my wife and want to work things out with her. I heard about sex therapy and suggested that we go, but my wife refused. I feel really stuck and ready to tear out what’s left of my hair. Help!

I’ve always been bisexual. I had both straight and lesbian relationships in college. Then I met my husband and stopped having sex with women. The marriage lasted 17 years. After my divorce, I dated both men and women, then a couple years ago fell madly in love with a woman. We’ve been living together for four years. It’s a great relationship, but the sex is no better than what I had with my husband. I always thought that when it’s two people of the same gender, they should know what the other wants and feels, and sex should be better than it is with someone of the other sex. But that’s not my experience. Is something wrong with my lesbian relationship?

I hope you don’t mind a 24 year old asking a question. It’s about my penis. It’s too small. On the Internet I’ve see ads for dozens of enlargement products, but they’re all pretty expensive. Which one works best?

I’m a 53-year-old woman going through the Big Change. I’ve started to notice dryness down there. I’m using KY Jelly, but it reminds me of going to the gynecologist. Not very sexy. What can I do?

Before my hysterectomy, my doctor and friends who’d had the operation assured me that it causes no loss of sexual enjoyment. Well, I had surgery 8 months ago, and ever since, I’ve had problems. I still enjoy sex, just not as much as before. My husband’s touch doesn’t feel as…well, sexy as it used to. And I have trouble with orgasm. His tongue used to get me off every time. Now I need a vibrator. (Thank God for my Magic Wand!) I know my friends are being truthful when they say their hysterectomies caused no loss of sensation. So what’s wrong with me?

I’m 49. My husband is 56. I’ve initiated most of our sex, and that’s been frustrating because I rarely feel desired (though he tells me he wants me). Well, these past six months or so, he’s turned me down a lot more–and it’s driving me crazy. If he wants me as he says he does, why won’t he do anything about it? All I want is sex once a week or so. Is that too much to ask? I should mention that he’s healthy. It’s getting to the point where I’m resenting him and when we have sex, I just don’t enjoy it very much. How can I when in subtle and not-so-subtle ways he lets me know that he’s just doing it to shut me up. I thought men were into sex. Not my husband. Help!

I was married for 22 years, then widowed. My late wife never complained about the taste of my semen, but the new woman in my life does. I really like to come in a woman’s mouth, and my girlfriend’s complaints are causing tension between us. Why is she complaining when my wife never did? And is there anything I can do to improve the taste of my semen?

I’m healthy, happily married (34 years)–and not very hard anymore, even with Viagra. At the health food store, they have a good dozen supplements that claim to boost male sexual energy and performance with ingredients like ginseng, ginkgo, maca, and yohimbe. Do these products work? Or are they a rip-off?

Divorced 18 months ago, I’m now interested in dating. I signed up on a few dating sites, but I must say I’ve been disappointed. The men seem so flaky, and they LIE. One man said he “owned a business.” Turned out he was unemployed. Another said he was “trim.” Actually, he was quite overweight. Am I just having some bad luck? Or is the world of online dating filled with men who lie?