Free Q&A Archive

My husband’s personal hygiene, or lack of it, is a big turn-off for me. He brushes his teeth only in the morning, never before sex. He doesn’t use deodorant. He never washes up before sex. And he doesn’t bathe enough in general.

I try to set an example. I am always very clean and well-groomed. Granted, some people are earthier than I am. He’s one. Smells don’t seem to bother him. I might be considered prissy by many, but at the same time, I just can’t get interested in the idea of sex unless the man is well-groomed and clean. How can I get him to wash up, especially before sex?

I’m a 55-year-old woman, and have always had a pretty happy sex life. But lately, it’s getting harder for me to come! Right when I am “on the verge,” I lose it and have to work up to it all over again. This doesn’t happen when I masturbate, just with my husband. We’re both frustrated. Lube helps a little but not much. Suggestions? Supplements? This is getting very annoying. Thanks.

I am 67 years old. My prostate was removed in 1999, but I got semi-erections till 2005. Now, nothing, even with lots of attention. Anything I can do?

I’m 48. The last several times, a few days after sex, I get this burning sensation in my vagina. My boyfriend, 50, has a history of herpes, so we use condoms. Do you think I could be allergic to latex? It doesn’t feel like a bladder infection, but I’m concerned about that, too.

My first husband wanted anal sex, so we tried it, and it hurt so much I said never again. That was 20 years ago. Now I’m widowed and in a new relationship and my new man is asking about anal. I told him what happened last time, how I tried it and swore off it. He’s 61 and says he can’t get hard enough for anal intercourse and just wants to finger me. I want to please him, but I’m phobic about any anal. Help!

I’ve heard that vibrators, if you use them a long time, can make my clitoris less sensitive. Any truth to this?

I am 46. My erect penis is not as hard as it used to be in my 20s / 30s. Many  times I am not able to maintain erection and my penis becomes limp during foreplay. Although I am able to get it back so as to penetrate. After penetration I do not have any problem. Is this normal for my age ?

Over the last dozen years or so, my wife of 22 years has slowly withdrawn from sex. We used to do it twice a week. Now we’re down to once every few months. I can’t stand it. I’ve tried everything, but she just doesn’t seem interested. I considered leaving her, but we have a family, and except for the way sex has poisoned our relationship, we have a good marriage. I had a six-month affair with a woman who loves sex, but broke it off because I love my wife and want to work things out with her. I heard about sex therapy and suggested that we go, but my wife refused. I feel really stuck and ready to tear out what’s left of my hair. Help!

I’ve always been bisexual. I had both straight and lesbian relationships in college. Then I met my husband and stopped having sex with women. The marriage lasted 17 years. After my divorce, I dated both men and women, then a couple years ago fell madly in love with a woman. We’ve been living together for four years. It’s a great relationship, but the sex is no better than what I had with my husband. I always thought that when it’s two people of the same gender, they should know what the other wants and feels, and sex should be better than it is with someone of the other sex. But that’s not my experience. Is something wrong with my lesbian relationship?

I hope you don’t mind a 24 year old asking a question. It’s about my penis. It’s too small. On the Internet I’ve see ads for dozens of enlargement products, but they’re all pretty expensive. Which one works best?