Free Q&A Archive

I tested negative for trichomoniasis in January, then positive in November of the same year, but I’ve been with the same partner for two years. Is it possible he did not cheat as he claims?? The physician who conducted my tests say there’s no way I could’ve gotten it unless one of us cheated, and I’m too loyal for all that drama. Thank you in advance.

Hi Michael: I suffer great anxiety over my man’s porn watching. I was happy to find your article explaining that men self-sooth by using porn, and that they still love and desire their woman. But at the very end you switched it to men using porn to turn them on for partnered sex, which to me is completely different. Please explain why that man who was turned on by porn isn’t imagining the woman who turned him on in the first place? Why isn’t he disappointed when he turns away from the fantasy and sees his true to life woman? I get older everyday and there’s an endless supply of young woman for him to fantasize about, how can I understand this?

My wife and I have been together for 42 years. I am 65. Fifteen years ago, after flagging sex drive, I was diagnosed with a pituitary tumor that was successfully removed. Since then I have been on daily testosterone. As a result, I now have the sex drive of a 30 year old. Since her menopause at 55 (we are the same age), my wife has gradually shut down our sexual contact. Now she no longer wants any physical contact at all, except for the occasional perfunctory peck. I have repeatedly asked her to work on this with me in counseling, but she has consistently refused. I eventually responded that I would no longer beg for physical contact and have retreated into myself. I am fit and healthy and I need to cum every day. I masturbate regularly and have for years now resorted to happy ending massages to get my need addressed for touch, intimacy and skin to skin contact. It’s expensive but physical need cannot be rationalized away. I would have thought that this marital situation is quite common. However the lack of articles suggest otherwise. Is my situation so unusual?

As a writer of fiction, I am working on a story that draws from my sexual experiences as a teen during the 1960s. My girlfriend of three years and I refrained from sexual intercourse or any hand stimulation of each other, and remained fully clothed during lovemaking that led to orgasms in my BVDs. The street description of what we practiced was laughingly called “dry humping.” Perhaps you can understand why she and I, and my male friends, never admitted to what did for relief of sexual tension. Question: Was our practice unusual in terms of adolescent sexual development? And how does it differ in from the term “intercrural sex”? Are the terms interchangeable? Are either in prevalent practice today? My gratitude for your attention—and for not smirking.

My age is 80, married for 58 years BUT–over the years I know how women work. Especially when it comes to enticing interest in Men. Women tease. Always. They think men only want sex–but in the same vein–women want to control. I tell ya it’s true. They want total power.And sometimes women lose. In a possible romance they want to drain a man to submit to them(women). It’s all bullshit.  My wife now has Alzhemiers and is in a home. Women tease to see what they can get away with. SO I JUST DON’T TRUST WOMEN. It’s been like this forever. They want power. It’s a shame women’s bodies are beautiful–but their minds always want to be in control. You can write what you want—but this is it –it seems to be a big game –and who wants a person who is always wanting her control by TEASING. Forget it. And I think you know what I am talking about –for God sake go to the point –you can’t paint a picture that you cannot ever cover up the REAL painting.

My wife caught me sniffing her dirty underwear I hadn’t started masturbating, thank God, but what is the best way to explain this?

My husband is 48, I am 34, we have been married two years, together almost four. We have not had sex in a year and a half. Any time I try, he rejects me. I recently noticed he was watching porn and pleasuring himself, I even caught him in the living room watching porn on his phone, pleasuring himself. Anytime I try to talk about it, it ends in a big fight. He recently saw a doctor and had his testosterone checked. It was low so he started testosterone injections. When I asked him why he prefers to pleasure himself than have sex with me, this was his response, “You just don’t fuckin understand. Stop thinking and fuckin take a chill pill. I went to the fuckin doctor. I’m taking injections now cuz of the doctors. We just had sex and you want more more more more more now pull your fuckin head out of your ass and stop.” I am at a loss and need advice on how to handle this.

Recently, my group of friends and I were hanging out and talking about several things, one of them were experiences with women. And someone mentioned the fornix. Up until that point, I never heard of it, so I decided to investigate. Now, I am aware that penis size is generally not important for women. But this topic hooked my interest. First, because I didn’t find much info on it. And second, I am worried that this ends up being true and the anterior and posterior fornix are some sort of special orgasmic spot for women. That they are places that I can’t reach with my penis—which makes me feel anxious. Specially the posterior fornix (which I have heard it feels better than the anterior fornix and is deeper). So, is it true? Does stimulating the fornix really feel good to women?

Does a circumcised penis reduces pleasure for women? I have heard that an intact penis foreskin can give women extra pleasure in penetrative intercourse. Is that true?

I am 58 and my partner is 70. We have been together for almost 12 years. We love each other deeply and are each other’s best friends and partners in business and life. For about 18 months we have not had sex. We have during this time, been through tough times financially and business wise, and with emotionally draining family dramas and deaths and the lengthy and complicated administrative legal issues surrounding these matters. In our discussions about our seeming lack of interest in sex which was concerning to both of us, as we had a very active and fufilling sex life prior to this, we put it down to the associated stress and feelings of lack of achievment and mental stimulation in our business environment. I was okay with that as I believed from what he said that he currently was feeling totally asexual. I respected that and as I have just gone through menopause and also understood exactly how he was feeling with regard to lack of achievement as I felt the same way. So it came as a huge shock to me a few days ago when we were engaged in whatsapp chatting as we were apart for a couple of days and he mistakenly sent an erotic image of a threesome from a porn site, to a Whatsapp group (business related) to which we both belong. Fortunately it was very early in the morning and as we were already chatting to each other on Whatsapp I saw it and immediately alerted him that he had posted inappropriately and better delete the pic immediately before the other members of the group saw it. Which he did. And immediately said that it was meant for me. I so want to believe that, as in the past whenever we were apart we would send to each other, images of, and links to, erotica, that we thought the other would appreciate. However, I just can’t imagine him sending me this, suddenly after 18 months of no sexual anything, totally out of the blue, whilst we were discussing legal matters surrounding his brother’s deceased estate. Therefore I immediately assumed that it was not intended for me, and that he must be engaging with a personal one on one intimate whatsapp chat (as we have done for years, and at which I know from experience he is so good) with someone other than me. This to me is totally different from watching porn, which we both enjoyed in the past. I feel devastated and betrayed. Sick to my stomach in fact and my whole self esteem which has been fragile given the changes my body has been going through as I age, is in tatters. He insists that it was meant for me, and there is no way I can prove otherwise. I told him I was ok if he was sexting hookers or porn sites, buy my gut tells me it is someone he knows personally. He denies it and sticks with his story that it was for me. How do I move on from this? I so very much want to, but I am shattered.