Free Q&A Archive

Can wearing really tight underwear make your penis smaller? I feel like that’s happening to me.

My wife of 19 years has started asking for anal sex. I like that she’s asking for what she wants and desires. The thing is… I don’t desire anal sex. I’m a 48 yo guy and my wife thinks there’s something wrong with me. She says every red blooded male wants anal. I just don’t. I get anxious when trying to penetrate her. I sweat. My breath quickens and it isn’t fun. We use toys. My fingers. And I see how much pleasure it brings her. She keeps insisting a real man would just be having a field day with her ass. What can I do to change this about me? I feel inadequate, like I’m letting her down by not wanting this. It’s turned into a lot of pressure because she wants more than fingers and toys and I just don’t.

As someone who is turned on, inspired and who feels awakened to life when meeting beautiful women, I have shame around the fact that I have always enjoyed anal play with toys (or whatever is handy). I feel like it makes me fear going forward with dating women in case it becomes an issue. I also worry about being able to perform with the women I feel attracted to. I didn’t have problems like that in the past except when taking antidepressants, which I recently resumed taking after 24 years (though they it mainly delay ejaculation). I also have some same-sex attractions. I always repressed them, although in my last relationship I let her know. I guess now I feel attracted to women and want to start dating again after a long dry spell. And I don’t want to feel shame. I was wondering if you had any thoughts, or could direct me to one of your articles.

Need help with my problem of p.e. Please!

I found your blog post dealing with the study on Sexual Teasing interesting. I would like to know if you know of any research on why Sexual Teasers would go on a date with a suitor or their boyfriend and sexually tease strangers. Thank you.

How can I make my vagina tight again? I’m 54 and my new lover is 46. He says my vagina is too loose. He’s ok with that, but I’m not. Is there anything I can do to make it tighter?

I wonder if you could help me or lead me to someone who can. My husband and I have been married 36 years and have a loving, very good relationship and can talk openly about sex, for the most part.

But when I try and discuss this specific thing, he shuts down. So I don’t bring it up anymore.

I can bring him to an erection by doing fellatio, (which I thoroughly enjoy) but then when he enters me he cannot maintain it. So he then pulls out and reenters me with my legs tight together. Sometimes he can come inside me but most times he comes outside between my legs.

Obviously, the disadvantage is I don’t get the full impact of the previous erection. I say to him, how can you get so hard with my mouth but the moment you enter me you become soft. There must be something wrong with me inside. He says no, it’s his problem, not me. What do you think? Could it be me? Have you heard of this before?

How can I give myself a prostate orgasm?

What is a healthy masturbation routine? I am addicted to excessive masturbation and I’m afraid it will effect my sex life as well as my family life

In my twenties, I had premature ejaculation. I came right away. Very embarrassing. I calmed down in my thrities and lasted longer, not as long as I wanted, no “all night long,” but enough so that my wife and I felt okay about it. So now I’m 44, single again, and dating this great gal, and wham, it’s happening all over again. It doesn’t matter how she does me: handjob, blowjob, or intercourse, I come in a few strokes. HELP!